Wait...What?

Hands down, funniest thing I've seen in so long. So accurate and true. Enjoy: Thanks Georgia for posting this!

I love watching him sleep. He, however, does not like waking up to that. He also doesn't like it when I cry because he's growing up. He says he feels bad for me that it makes him sad. That makes me cry more. I love this kid no matter how many headaches he brings on.

The children asked me if they could have an email account last week. I thought about it and was going to say no because hello? They are 7 and almost 5. Then I thought some more and realized it wasn't a bad idea. The boy can practice his spelling and typing when writing to Oma and Papa and whomever else he deems worthy of a personal email. The girl can keep learning how to spell and improve her typing too. I even made one for the baby. Those should be interesting emails yes? Today the 4 going on 14 girl asked when she was going to have her own blog. Yikes. So yes, I have sucker written on my forehead and all went up and made her a page. It's just a super basic one with rambling thoughts of a four year old. Lots of love and pink are involved, contain your shock. Next thing you know, they're going to want a Facebook account. For as much as they've watched me farm on there (shush, it's relaxing and fun!) I'm surprised they haven't already asked. I have the e...

If you give Tylenol to your children, please check the recall list . Just wanted to pass this along to my fellow moms, dads, grandparents, aunties, uncles and everyone else under the sun who cares for children.

I should have a card made and laminated that I can give to other moms saying "Welcome! I feel your pain. You are not alone". I feel I should have received one of those today. My 6 year old son called 911 today. Twice . In a 20 minute time frame. We had a mini family reunion today and since I had to work at 3, I had to leave early. I took the boy and the girl home with me and the husband kept the baby because, hello ? Everyone loves babies. I finally get them wrangled into the van, hope and pray that the bicycle tour thingie is over, hyper focus on not getting lost and most of all, worry about getting home in time to leave again for work. All went well, whew, and we made it home with a couple minutes to spare. The boy comes running upstairs hollering that he needs our street address. Um why is naturally the first thing that comes to mind. He says to just tell him and I say I need a good reason to. Here is one of the reasons we haven't taught him our address: (no lie people...

Lawcy Mercy, someone tell me this happened for real. Please tell me someone popped him one in the face. Gah, that would make my day! D-bag's side and the BEP side . I hear tell there's a video. I must find it. Can you tell I can't stand him? Blech. Holy shnikey, it's hotter than Hades right now. The humidity is making my hair look awesome though. There's a silver lining, ya just have to dig sometimes no? Jon and Kate? No surprise there. It's sad that they've made that choice but (from what we've seen) I think it's what's best for the kids. As a former I can't miss an episode viewer, I wish the show was ending. I wish TLC would have the courage and smarts to do it before the kids get effed up. I've got a 6 1/2 half yr old to give away. He's potty trained, likes to call everything stinkin' and gets so much joy and delight in calling me an idiot. I'll even send his Gameboy Advance with him. Not the DS though, I just got Anima...

My children? The ones I could live with? The ones that I would voluntarily take out in public? The ones that would hug and love on us as if tomorrow was never going to come? You haven't seen them? Hmph. Neither have we. Instead, what we have here is a failure to communicate 6 1/2 yr old boy who thinks that he can say things like, "Helloooo?", "You better answer me Mommy right now!" and, my all time favorite, "Look at my hands (on his hips) and look at my face! Do I look like I'm joking?" No, you don't look like you're joking. Here, taste this soap on your tongue. Does it taste like I'm joking? Didn't think so. Add to that lovely ball of over energized testosterone, one fired up diva/princess/dictator. And yes, as a matter a fact, a cute 4 yr old redhead can be all three. At the same time usually. It's a rather fascinating phenomenon. If I weren't so embarrassed at how she acts, I would show you but really, some things are...

Dearest 6yr Old Boy Of Mine, I know you come by it honestly. Really. I know I talk a lot. And I realize that's an understatement of damn near biblical epic proportions. I get that from Papa. He gets that from Gramma Lulu. So on and so forth (back forth?) I am also aware that mostly it's the Aspergers, the ODD, the other crap that came with your AD diagnosis. That being said..... Holy hell child, please stop talking so much when it's time to go to bed. I know people will get on my case saying that's what kids do, they procrastinate, they do all in their powers to derail that nighttime train of zzzz's. Seriously though? These people have never spent an hour with you trying to get you to just lay down. Just. lay. down. already. I know you have "big news" as you put it and I'm so happy that you want to share that news with Daddy and I. It's just that, well, we've heard the same "big news" all evening and well into this ritual that we g...

So my son, my six year old, funny, sweet looking, sincere boy has done something that boggles my mind. Shocking, I know but roll with it. He has beaten Super Mario 64 on the Wii. We downloaded the game for him 19 days ago. He's beaten. the. game. I don't know if I should be more proud or nervous about this. Silly, I know but look, this kid does his research . No lie. He goes on YouTube*, types in Super Mario 64 and finds all these videos of other people playing. He watches them intently, memorizing every screen shot. He retains all of that information and uses when he plays the game himself. When he started playing Super Mario 3 on the Wii, he found a warp whistle that I never knew existed in the 20 years that game has been out. My friends and I would play that game for hours on end in high school. This boy of mine goes online, watches some videos and poof! he knows where all this extra stuff is. Extra stuff that would have saved my friends and I a lot of grief in our hours wa...

I think I'm awake. I'm not sure. All I know is that I've got one active, lumpy bumpy baby baking in the belly. I also know that in last two days (in no particular order): I've gone through 6 ginormous totes of toys. Not shocking? I managed to rid us of only 1/2 of one tote . This job takes a few hours to do when you have a 4 yr old taking toys out of here and there and developing a hearing disability every time you ask her to stop. I've loaded about 12 boxes into the van to take to the storage place. Oh those captain's chairs in the van? Yeah those had to come out. Vacuuming the whole van was fun where fun = awkward movements trying not to fall over onto the baby belly while crawling all over the van floor. Aaaand the seats had to go back in. Not as easy as the coming out part. There was a lot of fun had at the Chunky Monkey's party. Happy Birthday Mildred*! The noises that my dictator made in the van on the way home from storage was so much fun to deal with...

This whole not being able to sleep? The baby doing jumping jacks at 3am? Not so much fun. Insomnia? It blows. Going to sleep at 430am then waking up at 730am? Blows more. There's nothing like being woken up to the sweet gentle sound of your 6yr old screaming bloody murder for his daddy to wake up. Then, if you look over, you'll see your 4yr old dictator cutting random pieces of paper all over the floor with scissors that you haven't seen since you hid them in the super secret hiding spot that was so superbly secret that you forgot where that spot was six months ago when you hid the damn thing. This of course is after you came home last night from working a full 8 hour shift and you see that said 4yr old has dumped out all of your sample shampoos, conditioners, hairsprays and lotions. Let's just say that combination of smells, in one small area? Worse than any morning sickness I've had. Ish. At least she did the disposing in a paper bag filled with papers for burning...

This boy of ours, he's doing well. He had a great day at school (no complaints/problems for three weeks! Yay medication that works!). He was really good for Grandma when I took the girl and the niece to the dentist (for the girl). When I got home, he was so lovey and good. We hung out, just the two of us, in the kitchen. He was playing his game, I was counting his piggy bank money. The kid has almost $30 in there. This started us on the journey to learning how to save. He wants a Nintendo DS more than anything in this world right now. (All because the DS apparently has a lot of Mario games that the boy wants? I don't know.) I told him that they cost way more than the $30 he has saved up. He asked if he would have enough by the end of the school year and I said probably not. I did tell him that I would talk to Oma and Papa and see if they would match whatever he saves up and then we'll make up the rest. I saw the look of pure excitement and joy on his face and said to...

In my sad, sad attempt to blog everyday (I knew I shouldn't have said it out loud or on screen, damn), I have already missed a day. You know what though? It's not a big deal. Sunday was a rough day for the boy. There are times when you just have to throw in the towel and say Uncle. I know how lucky I am to have my boy. To be his mom. To have him in my life. I wouldn't trade him in for an "average" child any day. He makes me laugh. He makes me think about things from a completely different perspective than a "normal" person. He makes me cry. He drives me nuts with the incessant question about this, that and anything and everything . Sunday was an Uncle day. He was so sick with that damn rotovirus that he would throw up his medication. There is no generic for one of his meds and of course, that's the one he would toss back up (not his fault). We made the decision that while he was sick, he wouldn't take that medicine. I don't know about ya'...

I'm sorry that you have difficulties. I'm so sorry that people look at you and think the worst. That they think you're a brat. They think you're being difficult. Troublemaker. Obnoxious. They don't know you. They don't know the sweet looking little boy that's growing up entirely too fast. Right before my eyes. They don't know how kind you are. I'm sorry that I lose it sometimes. I'm sorry that I yell at you. I'm sorry that I'm not more patient with you. I'm sorry that I don't take into account sometimes how hard this is for you. That you can't control what's going on in your head. You can't control your emotions. It's not your fault that you have Aspergers . It's not your fault that people don't understand it. That people don't want to understand it. I want you to know that I will always love you. No matter what. I know when you are saying mean things that you don't mean them. At least not now, may...

The Boy: Look! A McDonald's! Mama: Yep, we'll go there in a bit after we get Daddy from work. The Boy: It looks rather beat up. Mama: What? The Boy: It looks rather beat up! Mama: :::blink blink::: um ok The Boy: Look at the roof! It's missing a big piece. Part of the roof was, indeed, missing a piece however it was a decorative piece, not a vital, structural one. Whew. While he was talking to some of Daddy's coworkers, he was waxing poetic on his lost teeth. Co-Worker: Where did your tooth go? The Boy: Well.... I lost the first toose* when eating an Oreo. The other toose? It was an abscessed toose, it was sick and they had to take it. And finally, we were in Playland (right up there on the list of evil places) and he asked if I had a headick**. I must have been rubbing my temple and I know I commented to the husband that Oh. My. God. Does that mother not hear her son screaming for Jackson? Cause I can hear it. I'm pretty sure Jackson can hear it (even though the...

I just cleaned my desk and the table next to it. And by cleaned, I mean things are in nice little piles now. I have so much filing to do. A few thank you cards to get out. Some bills to pay. Yet what am I doing? I'm reading this fabulous blog where this awesome news is announced. Go out and pick up the latest issue of People magazine. They did a 4 page layout on this wonderful father and his precious daughter. I know that single dads are out there doing a great job raising their kid(s) by themselves. Well, most of them at least. There's something about Matt. I urge all of you to read about his wife, his daughter and their lives. If he doesn't serve as an inspiration, then I don't know what would. Check out the foundation , his blog and the new issue of People (it's on page 108) Thanks =0)

I can't imagine my life without my children in it. I think back to when I was not married, not in a serious relationship and I find it hard to pinpoint a time where I was really happy with my life like I am now. I know my life didn't suck. I went out to the bars every Mon to Sat for over a year. I had a great group of friends, always someone to go out with. I knew how to have fun. I had my moments of recklessness abandonment. Moments that I, as a parent now, cringe at. The husband and I have talked about what we would say to our kids when they get to the rebellious teenage years. When they start asking questions like "Well I bet you did stupid stuff huh?" Hello? Have you met your parents? Your mother ? The epitome of stupid stuff achievement? The husband has it easy, he was, and still is, a good guy ( yay me!). He liked to get his drink on with his friends and whatnot, still does sometimes, but I don't think he would be embarrassed to tell the kids anything that...

I'm sure he's wondering who the hell this bitch is that took over his wife's body because holy hell, am I in full on bitch mode. Not at him mind you. Just at life. So the boy is on the new med, Concerta . We decided to up the Melatonin to half a tablet instead of a quarter because the Concerta has him all jacked up until after 10pm. Yeah, I can't have that. Holy shit it took me, literally, a full two minutes to type that sentence. It's like I have forgotten how to use my goddamn fingers. WTF ? Now I'm crying. Someone who has had at least three kids, please tell me that this is normal. That all thrice preggo women go through this. I know it's most likely the stress of the boy and trying new things to control his outbursts and shit but holy hell . I would punch myself in the face if I ran into myself. How the hell am I going to handle three of them?? I'm gonna eff them up aren't I? I can't keep my emotions bottled up, shit, that'll kill me. ...

The boy had an appt today with his behaviour specialist doctor person. I forgot about asking for the day off. Whoops. Good thing Daddy was going to the appt too. I picked the boy up from school and dropped him off at Daddy's work. I think this is the way it should go from now on with these particular appts. Here's my theory: I haven't been all that impressed with the center that he goes to for his evals and appts. He's been seen 3 times in 15 months and has been on two meds in the last 3 months. I've called them asking for actual phone numbers and names of people that can help us. Resources, programs, assistance. I got all of zero people to call me back. My mama bear comes out with my son. Sure, a lot of the time I feel like a failure to him as a mom but that's largely in part to us feeling overwhelmed. (When he was diagnosed in Nov of 07 with Aspergers*, there were a couple suggestions but nothing tangible that we could come home and say ok, let's do this. ...

You know, the one that says "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all"? I have almost daily fights on this one. Going to my parents' place always induces anxiety attacks, crying jags and periods of irrationality. Those are all from me. The children are still young enough where most of what they experience just goes over their heads. They don't get it. I imagine when they are teenagers, they'll start having memories and the questions will come. Why is your family crazy Mama? Why did you put up with that behavior? Why would you let someone make you feel that way? Why would you let someone talk to us like we're stupid? I should start saving for therapy. Do they offer group discounts? When I was a teenager, my dad would tell me that he loved me (and always would) but there were times he did not like me. At all. I used to get hurt by that but now I get it. I love my parents. I do. I just don't like my mom. Wow. Now if I could just hit publish and no...