Wait...What?

Most days when I'm on the computer, I'm playing around with Words w Friends on Facebook or catching up on blogs. Then there are days like today and yesterday where I spent a majority of my time looking up serious stuff. Having a child on the spectrum puts you constantly on the never ending search for resources, ideas, people to connect with. Some days you feel so alone and other days, you wish you *were* alone. My aunt has always been interested in Aspergers ever since Donovan was diagnosed. She's done so much research on her own and it always makes me feel so great knowing that she kinda gets it. Clearly no one, even someone with an ASD kid, gets our situation. To say the kids are all different is an understatement of gigantic proportions. At any rate, she messaged me on Facebook the other day asking if I had ever been to this particular website. I hadn't but checked it out because she has a good eye for finding information that I haven't found. My Autism Team i...

I was looking at Donovan tonight while he was sleeping. You know how you do that. You just stare. Wondering where all the time went. How the hell did they get that big?? My God, they're going to get even bigger?? What. The. Hell? I rescued his baby book from his bed (the kids love looking at it. also?? it's the only one. whoops!) and took pictures of a some photos. Obviously the quality is far less than stellar. The point is made though..... This is what I look at every night. This sweet boy is the one I fight for all the time. The one I stand up for. The one who yells at me that I'm a horrible mom. The one who wishes I would just go live somewhere else. The one who, only an hour later, snuggles up to me saying sorry. The one who never means to hurt me. The one who can hurt me the most. The one who loves me the most in his own special way. He's getting so big, so fast. I can't keep up. I'm scared for the future. I mourn the past. I live for the now. It's ...

I miss this kid.  Don't get me wrong. I love my son.  I love him so fiercely that it startles me sometimes. But I miss this kid.  Before a label was put on him. Before we had the evaluation. Before our lives were changed by that label. Sometimes I want to go back. Sometimes I want to quit. Sometimes I think this is too much. Most days I suck it up. That's what moms are supposed to do right? I can do that. I can suck it up.  I can be the mom that my kids need. That they deserve. That they want. I just need fewer sucky days.  Change is coming my friends. I see the end of the tunnel. We're on our way to happiness.  We're going to be just fine.  So Aspergers? Don't think you've got me beat. Don't think you can take that sweet boy from me. Don't think his calling me a "f*!king bitch"  regularly is going to break me. Don't think I won't kick your ass Aspergers.  You don't know who you're dealing with.

So hey. How was your holiday? Mine was good. Did I cover that already? Probably. My apologies. My brain seems to still be on vacation. Be right back........ Nope, didn't really cover the holidays. Whew. So....... My parents came in to town, per the uzh. (How does one abbreviate usual? hmph) This year they stayed at a more mainstream hotel instead of the small town type one they usually stay at. Of course this means they also had a pool. And? and?? AND? a *so very, very, very* hot sauna. The end. Just kidding. But no really, hot sauna. Very nice. This was also when we discovered a certain toddler of ours loves the sauna. and the pool. and any body of water near her. I don't think we've ever seen her scoot backwards so quickly towards anything. It was a sight for sure. I've often wondered, how far do we go with the celebrating of Christmas? Meaning, how much do we spoil the children? They really do get what they want (within reason, most of the time). They ...

The boy and I crack up with this commercial every time we see it. The little boom. The big booooom with the shaking head. The raindrop's voice. Lawcy Mercy. Hilarious!

Some outtakes from an almost failed spur of the moment family photo shoot: (please, I beg of you all, ignore the extra chin I have. also? this was hours before we ate so I don't know where the eff the chin came from. let's blame the kids shall we? ok then) (again with the alsos - sheesh - I didn't edit these - like you couldn't tell bahahahahahahaha! ha!) Blondie? Not a child I birthed. That's my niece, the Monkey. Nom nom nom on the hand. I birthed a pirate that lost his patch though. Awesome! Someone tooted maybe? Who knows with this clan. Usually this gesture means she just smacked someone but no, the redhead is not screaming her fool head off so things are alright in the world.  For now. Monkey Photo Bomb!! This would be a great shot if the baby didn't have a look of complete disdain going on.  There were some good shots that came out of this debacle - I'll have them up soon

A month or so ago, the boy was suspended from riding the van for being annoying (wtf?) and for throwing his sweatshirt at one of the two other kids on the van. Mainly for being annoying. Also because the van driver claims he almost ran off the road because of the boy. Doubtful and I tell you this because I've driven this child in a van during an all out fight with his sister and I'm here to say, I did not run the vehicle off the road. I pulled over when I could and let loose threats and promises and curses on Ouji boards and all that good stuff but when all was said and done, the van was still on concrete. SO. I get this report (and two other reports that were never brought to my attention) and have a discussion with the director of special education regarding having a para on the van. He had one last year at his main stream school for the bus and I felt he would benefit from it this year. He was denied one the end of last year and that was an epic fail. Well, lo and behold ...

Music, fans, autographs, party down party town, YOU are a rock star!! aaaaaaaaaand down goes the rock star. What a short career.  Too many trashed hotel rooms we think. 

So. My niece is here through Sunday and we are so stinking happy to have her here. I surprised the kids last night with her arrival. They never knew she was coming and they were thrilled to learn how long she'd be with us. The girls were up late last night because, duh!, BFFs are in the house! The boy had a late start at school today due to staff meetings. I was thinking "Sweet, the girls will be out until at least 830 and maybe the boy will sleep until 8" Stupid stupid stupid. Mommy Basics 101: The child(ren) will always rise before the sun on non school days. Same child(ren) will argue with you on school mornings until you stab yourself in the nose with a pickle fork because they don't want to get up. I know this gets worse as they get older. Please, let me be naive right now. Thank you (said in my best sing songy Mary Poppins voice) The boy was up before 7am I'm sure. I could hear his "heh heh heh" tic in full force and that usually takes a...

I go into the best store on the face of the planet with a $50 limit and walked out with $3 to spare and these costumes: I also left with an Elmo cotton lined bucket, some stretchy slimy spiders, spiderweb stockings, 2 Airbender shirts for the boy (which he deemed "sweet!!!!!") and a super cute Tinkerbell bag where the handle is a bracelet. Tres cool according to the diva daughter.

Were you ready for some football?? We were so we went and had ourselves a good time.  I took about 120 photos and I'd say 84 of them are shots like this one:  Listen now, my 'Boys were giving the game to ya Vikings. Took ya'll long enough to take it.  I don't even know what to say about the 'Boys. Tasting new flavors of Mt. Dew. Out of 8 of them? Maybe 2 tasted halfway decent. The rest? Blech. oh and oh yeah, Gross I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! Yep, good times a the Metrodome! I don't know who Paula is but I hope she said yes. We got these FavVision things free for being season ticket holders.  Saw some guy renting/selling them. Should see how much they go for. We were able to watch other games, see replays, watch the camera angles  they show on the tv, set up fantasy football. I liked it but I don't know that we'll keep it after the 2011/2012 season. The subscription fees are waived the first two years.  I shudder at the thoug...

Kicking it old school w the photo today. Pretty much sums up our mornings.

New phone coming soon and hopefully better phone pics - hahaha! Right. The baby loves watching the Boy play his DS and the Girl is watching the Twinkies with her Daddy.

He was impressed with the white pumpkin. Then saw the squash, gourd, WTH is that thing?? He insisted on showing ya'll his money. And his new Club Penguin card. The excitement? It is abundant.

So. I think I'm going to be in the front of the line for Mom of the Year when they hand out those awards. (Also? Where the hell do they hand those out? I mean there has to be at least one year where I was an A+ mom right?) Carrying on....... My children love these guys . All four of them. They think they are really from Minnesota (nope). They think the names they have on the show are in indeed real first AND last names (not quite). They think the boys are the COOLEST EVAH! (maybe) So here's the deal. I, the most awesomest mom in the world (it's true, you'll see), have a plan. A plan that involves buying 5 (FIVE! I say) CDs when they come out next Monday. Then I get to sit on the news that the kids get to go to Mall Of America that Saturday. Really, we may live close by but we go only a couple times a year. Crazy big mall = crazy masses of people. When they get to go to the MOA? They get happy loco nuts. If my plan works out (Lord/Jehovah/Buddha/whomever it BETTER wo...

Who knew a lifelong dream of mine could be filled at the Renaissance Festival? I sure as shit never knew but lookie there!! I'm riding on a freaking elephant!! It was awesome, fantastic and entirely way too short thankyouverymuch.  I went twice.

The obligatory Back to School photos........part one (part two is the girl and she starts Thursday) with Daddy with Mama

Someone likes fishing! Someone also does not like having his eyes open for pictures.

Yep, things are normal 'round here.  Well, normal is a relative term of course. You say tomahtoe, I say eww no thanks, I'll take some cheese please.