Wait...What?

Damned if I didn't want to though. I survived another Pre Turkey Day extravaganza and went home smiling. It was cold, very snowy and windy when I left. So glad that the roads were alright. I was wished the bell ringer a happy holiday tomorrow and he said, "You too". Then he added, "You smell good" Well, ok then. Gobble gobble folks!

Do you ever have those days where you go into work and you're in a genuinely great mood only to have ruined by complete and udder idiots? Yeah. Me too. I would have sworn that tonight was a full moon or at the very least, I screwed up my days of the week and it was actually Monday. Sadly? Neither of those events occurred. Damn it. On a happier note though, we found out yesterday that a regular customer that has been MIA for a few weeks is ok. She called yesterday and in talking with her, we found out she developed Bell's Palsey. Oy, I was so worried about her. She came in tonight and bless her heart, she's so damn cute. I would guess (and I'm horrible at age guessing) that she's in her mid/late 60's (don't shoot me!!!). She was wearing a pair of purple sunglasses that look like the kind my kids wear. She said she wanted to get people looking at those and not the side of her face that isn't moving. I told her she looked beautiful no matter what and gu...

Hello November (say it the Jerry Seinfeld voice - DO IT!)..........Well well well, what have we here? Another November is upon us. What does this one bring? I'll tell you what this one brings: A lot of grief. Of the football variety. People, you have no idea how it saddened my husband to learn that the Vikings put Randy Moss on waivers today. Serrrsly . It boggles his mind. He never thought the Vikings would be on this road to what? Misery? A trainwreck? It's worse than when they lost last year in the playoffs. Dare I say, it's worse than when the Twinkies lost to those em effing stinkin' Yankees. My husband loves all things sports related. Ya'll have heard of Deer Widows right? Well, I have it worse than that. That? One weekend. Two if they bow hunt. Me? I've got that when it's football, baseball, hockey and college hockey and football season. AND don't even get me started on the godforsaken Gopher football program. My husband says the Eden Prair...

I'm wondering why my feet weren't killing me when I was walking around 18 months pregnant. The last couple days back at work have been murder on my tootsies. I think I may actually have to go out and spend some good money on a new pair of shoes. Functional shoes. Not "hey they were on clearance so I got them in three colors!" shoes. No, I think I need to break my I'm not paying more than $15 for shoes cause I'm cheap rule. Yes. Shoe shopping. Most women love to do this. Not me but I'll live. I kind of need these feet. They take me places.

That first seven and half hour shift back at work is killer. I need a couple days off to recover. But wait, there's more of that work thing tomorrow. Bah!

I've gone back to work (and I'm diggin' it, for now) The Littlest Little has started the medication that is from the study she was one day too old to participate in (balderdash! to the one day too old crap!) The Dictator Girl probably has another UTI (that would be two in a three week period on top of a yeast infection AND a micro viral infection thingy-ma-bob) The boy hasn't gotten up before 9am at all since school got out. Check that, one day he was up at 7am and I only know this because his sister was screaming at him to stop looking at her . My lower back has been hurting so much that I'm reminded of my gramma Lulu who would hunch over for awhile every time she got up from the couch or chair. At least I'm not tooting every time I get up like Grams. Some interesting reads (can you tell I like TV Squad ? I didn't think so): Oh we've already had the discussion about these products . Today was all about fallopian tubes and a woman's menstrual cy...

I'm so excited to go back to work tomorrow. I'm sick aren't I? This is not a good sign. We'll see how it goes.

Once again, I've proven that I'm shameless. You're shocked, I know. The evil Girl Scouts were back at my store today. Gah. There's crack in them there cookies, I just know it. They were only there until eight and I worked until ten so I told them I would be back before they left. I almost forgot and two of the girls actually came looking for me. They hunted me down . I was an easy target. A caged animal . I bought nine boxes of cookies. Hey, don't judge me. Only 3 of them are exclusively mine. Mine = a box in the car, a box by the computer and a box in my locker. Just in case. Good thing I don't work Sunday. There's another troop coming in. Evilness I tell you. Pure and simple.

Dear Guy Who Yelled At His Son Every Time They Were In Together, Nice denial and poker face when I tried to give you your kid's number. He's only been looking for you for half a year. Good parenting call there. I am so staying out of this one, Your cashier Dear Bitch Who Smells Like An Herbal Essence Factory Exploded In Her Car 2 Minutes Ago, Seriously? You stink. I may puke. Also, you're mean to strangers. That lady did nothing to you. Karma is a bitch too. She's just more effective. Good luck with that one. Just an FYI, The very pregnant one Dear Still Drunk From St. Patty's Day Parties Down At The U Customer, Dude. You stink worse than the fruity lady. Shower please. And the twitch for you fix? Yeah, you're not so good at hiding it. Nice try though. I need a clothespin, a bucket and some Febreeze, Your still very pregnant cashier Dear Lady Who Likes To Point Out My Large Pregnancy Every Single Time You See Me Which Is Every Other Day, I get it. I'm th...

No, not those kinds of fluids. Sheesh. A couple weeks ago, at our monthly ultrasound, the perinatologist detected some fluid in the heart sac on the baby. It wasn't a lot of fluid but enough to concern him. He sent us to the University hospital to have a fetal echo cardiogram done the following day. The cardiologist said there was, indeed, some extra fluid there that really shouldn't be there. Awesome. It wasn't enough to freak her out but she wanted to see me again in a couple weeks and see where the levels were. For the last two weeks, you can imagine what's been going on in my head. I lost my mind. All I could focus on, of course, was that if they found more fluid in the heart sac, they would have to monitor me twice a week (ultrasound) and if the fluids increased regularly, they would have to take the baby. Yeah, I didn't sleep well. Fast forward to this morning. As I was getting the ultrasound done, I felt this incredible urge to cry. I couldn't figure ou...

Dear Gentleman Who Can't Grasp The BOGO Concept, As I told you, your coupon wasn't scanned. I can take care of that for you. I'll refund the lower priced item to your card and all will be well in your world. Yes, you were charged for two of them. It's buy one, get one free. I will refund the lower priced one back to your card. Yes, both are on your receipt. You get one free. No, if you buy one, you don't get that one free. I. have. to. charge. you. for. one. You. get. one. free. Yes I see that you were charged for both. I'm refunding one now. Yes, I know. There are two. There's the refund for the coupon item. Oh you want to return them? You couldn't tell me this at the beginning of this hilariously ridiculous scene? I looked right at you and said it's because you didn't use the coupon but I can take care of it for you, no problem. You said ok, thanks. YOU SAID OK! You didn't say I want to return it. If you want to return them, I can take ca...

Just a couple of reminders my dear, sweet, valuable customers: Being able to read is nothing to be ashamed of. Show off that skill. Knowing that a piece of paper that says "this is not a redeemable coupon" and knowing what to do with it (or not do with it) is a good thing. Go with it. Take it home with you. Roll some Mary Jane in it. I don't care. Stop trying to get $3 from me. Throwing your money, crumpled up and moist from, gah , who knows where? That won't help you get out of my store faster. Be happy I didn't throw on latex gloves and keep your ass there longer. In the same respect, tossing your credit card at me won't get you out faster either. I'll just, oh so nicely, remind you that you can swipe it right there (that pretty black box facing you). I won't tell you the magnetic strip goes down. I'm hopeful you can figure that one out on your own. Oops, guess not. I'm sorry that the chips you purchased tasted like crap. I could have told yo...

The customers at my store that is. Seriously people? What is it about the holiday season that makes the asshats and douches think only their lives are chaotic and in complete disarray? I didn't get the memo that I must have a perfect, stress free week. I'll have to fire my assistant. Oh wait, I need one of those before I can fire them. Damn. I get to work tomorrow, into the evening, and there are two customers I am just waiting to hear from. Customer One: The lady who sees every single register is lit up, has a cashier and is functioning. She's the one who will come to the service desk and ask if we can call someone up to help cashier. Last year when a lady asked me that I looked at her and asked her, nicely of course, what register I should put that cashier on. She looked around and said she didn't know but it was ridiculous that the lines were so long. Another memo missed. Clearly, she was the only one allowed to shop the day before T-Day. Not one other soul was permi...

I seem to have survived my first day back to work. We'll see how I feel tomorrow. I think my feet are going to be yelling at me. Everyone seemed to be happy that I was back. I know most of them were sincere. I missed them too. I just felt weird that so many people were saying welcome back or so glad you're back or we missed you. I got embarrassed a few times. Not when my customers told me that though. I don't know why. I got to see a few regulars today. I'm sure on Turkey Day Eve I'll see the rest of them. I'm exhausted from the 7 1/2 hours on my feet. I'm going to bed. I need to get as much sleep as I can before Peanut comes in and hogs the bed. It's great that she wants to sleep with me (well not really but you know what I mean) but how a 3 1/2 yr old can take up so much space is beyond me. Wait 'til the blessed, glorious pillow gets here. She'll be pinned to the wall. Bwahaha. I mean, she won't have all that arm spreading room. Damn those...

Barring any mishaps in the HR department, I get to go back to work in a couple weeks. I can't wait. I'm one of those weirdos who really likes my job. I love my customers (well, most of them) and I like a good portion of the people that I work with. My doc asked me today if I was sure that I felt up to going back to work. I said that I am positive. I told her that I did two visits to Costco and didn't feel like collapsing or passing out when I was done. She said that would be a good indicator. I've learned that mono can really kick your ass, especially when you're pregnant. I've also discovered that one can never get too much sleep. It's just not possible and believe me, I've tried. Also, I've been telling everyone that asks about my ER visits for the migraines: Don't let them give you dilaudid unless you don't feel like pooping for the next 3 weeks. I'm just saying.

Papa and Gramma The boy and Grandma that we live with, just Gramma for short some black and white cuteness.

Happy Early Mother's Day to all the moms out there. Represent! This Mother's Day, Fluffy and I will once again be walking in the Susan G. Komen For The Cure walk at the MOA . We had a great time last year and we're so excited to be doing it again. We're leaving the kids at home and it'll be just us. I almost feel bad for the Captain and Bigs but I think they'll be ok. We did the "Bagging For The Cure" at my store last Sunday and pulled in $833.39 from the fabulous customers we have (and some employees too!). So many times people thanked us for doing the walk. Some of them couldn't do it because of health reasons, others are survivors and most of the people we talked to had lost someone close to them. I always feel so blessed when someone shares their story with me. I feel connected to them. Thank you to all of my customers and coworkers who helped us out. Everyone knows someone. Someone who has survived. Someone who is fighting against it. Someone...

I love that this woman's children honored her wish . I was told several times in the last two days that I'm beautiful, crazy, cute, have a stinky butt and am really good at this part of Super Mario Brothers on the Wii (and you have to say that whole thing, that's the title of the game). I'd like to say the husband told me the nice things there but I think we all know which ones told me them all. My favorite story about Dar: Young man comes up to the service desk with a pack of condoms. Asks for a pack of smokes. Dar asks for his ID. He looks at her weird. She says (in all of her nonchalant- ness ) "Honey, I don't care if you're having sex, I just want to make sure you're old enough for the cigarettes." Poor kid was probably mortified but I can totally picture her saying this. I can hear her voice right now and see the smile on her face. Priceless. One of the guys described her perfectly. She would get a crabby butt customer, big ole ' jerk. Sh...

This is her employee of the month photo from a couple years ago. Don't her eyes just yell out, "I'm trouble"? She was one of those women that you knew worked hard all of her life but when she let down her hair to have fun, it was on. Her humor and wit, big heart and smile, all of it will be missed more than we could ever express in words. May she be soar with the angels and live forever in our memories. We love you and miss you Dar!

My sister in law, Fluffy, is due this Thursday to have her first baby. Sweet Baby G could have been born this past weekend and Fluffy would have been deliriously happy. No, she's holding out, wants to stay in the warm, dark place I guess. I told Fluffy to watch out, it's a leap year. That'll be fun all through life hey? I get to be in the delivery room with her and I can't tell you how excited I am about that. I don't have siblings and I imagine that even if I had a younger sister, I wouldn't love her as much as I love Fluffy. She's a great kid, er woman I mean!!! I am so happy for her and for Bigs . He's taking good care of her, making sure she rests and whatnot. I'll keep my 5 4 readers up to date (Mandy's computer died so she doesn't count anymore). Went to a meeting tonight about sensory processing and how it effects the child. I was under the impression that it was an informational meeting. Help for parents who need it, resources, othe...