Skip to main content

Big Boys Don't Cry

I'm a reality tv whore. I can't get enough of the stuff. I've seen it all just about. Just today, I've watched parts of Rock of Love (though I missed 3/4 of the last episode and I SO wanted to see Lacey fall on the table drunk. Thank goodness that repeats are played 87 times), ANTM, The Coreys, etc.

One show that I laugh at, no matter what is happening onscreen, is The Pickup Artist. Now listen, I'm not that heartless of a bitch to say that these fellas don't deserve some lovin'. They do. That being said.....why are you crying on national television on a show that is about you NOT being able to get a woman? I know you're insecure, I get that. Everyday, I feel the same way. I didn't hear what was said leading up to the bawling fest but good God men! Three of you, sitting there like someone took your lollipop away. Do you really want to take advice from this guy? He wears a hat straight out of Alice in Wonderland and have you seen the Willy Wonka glasses?? COME ON! He sounds like he cares about you guys but why haven't any of you laughed in his face? I think I can honestly say that if someone approached my friends and I in the manner that he and his "wingmen" do, I think we would laugh. Not to his face of course because we aren't that evil.

You guys can do this but for the love of all things holy, don't take his words as Pickup Scripture. Really. Take it from a woman. We know these things.

That is all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nice To Meet You

Hi. I just got here last week. They call me the Littlest Little. I'm glad to be here and I'm sure I'll be seein' ya around. This my mama. She's always telling me that she loves me and is so blessed to have me in her life. Sometimes she cries. Wait, that's all the time. Someone should get her a tissue or two or a box. This is my daddy. See my pinky here? He's wrapped around it already. I don't think he minds though. This is Fluffy and she's the coolest auntie there is. Her little girl, Monkey? I dig that one. Hopefully she and I can be the best of friends. It's my uncle, Pedro Juan. Everyone says I'm a mellow baby and that he was the same way when he was but a baby. That's cool with me. I love my Peej. Hopefully I'll have photos of me with my cousins and siblings tomorrow. And Uncle Kota? Mama is trying to find the picture of us together. She's not all that fast on the uptake. Cut her some slack though k? If she gets her poop in...

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...

BEWARE!! DeeDee Doodle Unmasked!!

CAUTION!! CAUTION!! CAUTION!! DeeDee Doodle (Lisa Lennox) DeeDee Doodle - Lisa Lennox