Wait...What?

So here I am, on a Saturday morning. At 7am. I've been up since 6. The children are both sleeping with no signs of waking up soon. I could sleep in if I wanted. There's nothing going on today that requires my getting up now. So why the hell am I awake? I have a couple ideas. I had a dream that Tommy Lee wanted to sleep with me. Where sleep with me = ravage me from head to toe and make me start smoking again. Rawr! Back in the day, when I was infatuated with naughty, dirty boys, I would have woken up from that saying "What the hell? Please Lord let me fall back into that dream!" These days? :::shiver::: No thank you Tommy, your boy has been in far too many ports of pleasure for me. Ish. He also asked me who I wanted to sleep with more than anyone else in this whole entire world (because he needs to know these things I guess) and before I could answer him, he said Kate Winslet was his dream lay. Um, ok then. Carry on Tommy Boy, carry on. I don't recall having this

Who could resist this face? She's trying to think of someone. Nope, can't do it. She loves making them laugh. My models. Or as they refer to themselves, "High fashion fancy models". This one doesn't like to smile for the camera. I can't say that I mind if I get shots like this. The two hairs in her face are driving me nuts but I love it otherwise.

It started out nicely. Matching outfits. Nice smiles. Then it all started to go to the giggle gods. Lawcy mercy. Giggles. Gut laughs. Ginormous ones! She's a screech laugher. She's a belly laugher. What made them laugh so much that Grandma was crying watching it all unfold? Her. Making this face.

I was saddened to read this news today. I'm sure Ed and the boys will carry on just fine but it'll be hard to hear them without Steve. This is perhaps my most favorite song of theirs: That last line is so fitting I think, given what's happened. Sheesh, seems like a death. Man up woman! People leave bands all the time. Just sucks when it's one of your all time favorite bands. Damn.

Scary how the boyfriends are laying. Divine intervention diddn't help them get larger. 600% was asking a little too much. He needs some lotion. Exfoliation. I'm not sure. That can't be comfortable. A St. Ives facial mask will help that out. I use the peach, so can you.

He refuses to let her be photographed alone if he's anywhere near her. Thankfully Her Royal Majesty had no issues sharing the camera spotlight with Sir Picture Scene Stealerpants. Shocker on the cake no? This cake graced us with it's presence a couple weeks ago and sadly, lasted only 3 days. Oh but it was deelish. This would be the one that I ate half of. Really, look at the cake. Mmmm. I may need to go out to the deep freezer now and get the cream puffs. Shit.

So's I was telling Midge.... Did you hear what Phyllis said? What ? I'm talking to the blue haired ones. What about it?

He thought he hit her in the head. He felt bad and she just thought he was crazy. But she does love him so. Loves to touch his face and make him freak out. Especially with drool infested hands. Oh, that one's always a winner. Yet he loves her and showers her with kisses. Now if only he was like that to his own sister, all would be good in the world. Sigh.

I get asked, on a daily basis if I'm out with them that often, if the girls are twins. They love to wear the same stuff and if I buy a shirt for Peanut, I usually get the same one or a different color one for Baby Girl. It's gotten to the point now where Baby Girl will answer the question and say "I'm not hers, she's my Auntie". People giggle when she puts it that way.

I like all of his qualities. The husband has all of those. I don't need to water him though. Whew. Three years and up hey? Good to know that Peanut and Baby Girl can grow a man. So many things are wrong here. I'll let you pick your favorite. These are the fellas two hours later. I don't see any growth. Me thinks they may need Viagra.

No, not those kinds of fluids. Sheesh. A couple weeks ago, at our monthly ultrasound, the perinatologist detected some fluid in the heart sac on the baby. It wasn't a lot of fluid but enough to concern him. He sent us to the University hospital to have a fetal echo cardiogram done the following day. The cardiologist said there was, indeed, some extra fluid there that really shouldn't be there. Awesome. It wasn't enough to freak her out but she wanted to see me again in a couple weeks and see where the levels were. For the last two weeks, you can imagine what's been going on in my head. I lost my mind. All I could focus on, of course, was that if they found more fluid in the heart sac, they would have to monitor me twice a week (ultrasound) and if the fluids increased regularly, they would have to take the baby. Yeah, I didn't sleep well. Fast forward to this morning. As I was getting the ultrasound done, I felt this incredible urge to cry. I couldn't figure ou

This entire article is rather interesting. It's the last sentence that gets me though. And I ask....why would you teach a monkey to do the last thing? WHY? Travis was hitting the bottle. That has to be it. They tried an intervention and he lost his monkey lovin' mind. They tried to talk him down, take the bottle away and he was having no part of that thank you very much. Don't eff with a monkey's booze man. He'll jack you up.

Dear Gentleman Who Can't Grasp The BOGO Concept, As I told you, your coupon wasn't scanned. I can take care of that for you. I'll refund the lower priced item to your card and all will be well in your world. Yes, you were charged for two of them. It's buy one, get one free. I will refund the lower priced one back to your card. Yes, both are on your receipt. You get one free. No, if you buy one, you don't get that one free. I. have. to. charge. you. for. one. You. get. one. free. Yes I see that you were charged for both. I'm refunding one now. Yes, I know. There are two. There's the refund for the coupon item. Oh you want to return them? You couldn't tell me this at the beginning of this hilariously ridiculous scene? I looked right at you and said it's because you didn't use the coupon but I can take care of it for you, no problem. You said ok, thanks. YOU SAID OK! You didn't say I want to return it. If you want to return them, I can take ca

Love of cakes and brownies and other such sweets. I've never been a sweets person, per say. I like my Sugar Babies once in awhile and I dig a Kit Kat now and then but straight up sweets frequently? Nah. Not my bag baby. Until this baby. Holy marble cake Batman. The Peanut turned 4 this week and chose a lovely cake adorned by not one, not two but three princesses. It was deelish. I ought to know. I ate half of it. Not all in one sitting mind you but half of it found it's way to my belly. I'm certain I had it for breakfast a couple times. It's got dairy in it somewhere. Now that Valentine's Day is over (hey, hope ya had a good one) I found myself eyeing up the cakes at my store. I caved and got a heart shaped one that says I Love You and I found myself indeed, loving this cake. I also tortured myself with a triple fudge heart shaped cake. That one is a single serve one though and serve me it will. A tall glass of milk will go nicely with that one. So I'm hoping th

How does one finish off an evening that was meh at work? Well if you're like me, you nearly get t-boned by a squad car. Then you alternate between a) freaking out the last .6 miles home wondering if he's going to pull you over or b) swear and curse him for damn near hitting you and for God's sake, look when you're pulling out from behind 4 other squads. Yes, that's my friendly tip for the night. You're welcome. and it's now 365 (-3) but I'm ok with that.

The boy went up to both Daddy and Uncle Pedro asking them "Are emnagers real?" Both of the guys were confused as to what he was talking about. Daddy asked where he saw it or heard it. The boy showed him an XBox game that was rated M. His thinking was the T games are rated T for teenagers and teenagers are real. Games that are rated M must be for Mnagers and he wanted to know if they were real. Mnagers, Teenagers and E-nagers. I love this kid of mine. Also, catch Matt on Rachael Ray here .

But please make sure you watch The Rachel Ray Show tomorrow, February 11th. Matt is going to be on telling he and Madeline's story. Please tune in to see them. Also, don't forget to check out the Liz Logelin Foundation . It's a great organization that helps widows and widowers with children. A group of people that are sadly overlooked a lot of the time. You can check what time the show is on in your area here . I'll post links to any clips or episode postings. Side note: Is it Rachael? Or Rachel? Her website says Rachael Ray but the web address says Rachel Ray. No matter, it sounds funny either way after you say it several times. Try it.

Tetris for the XBox. You are my crack. You are my chocolate during PMS. You are my southern and coke on a night without the children. It's because of you that I've been so tired. So so tired. I could blame myself but what's the fun in that? I love that you get Pedro wound up when he has 40 lines to get to my 35 and mom's 30. Thank you for that. The frustration works to our advantage. Someone pass the visine please. My retinas could use some go-go juice.

So did you figure out the questions from yesterday? Did your eyes glaze over? Mine did. I thought it would go better after a full nights' sleep but yeah, no. In looking at my scores, I thought I did ok but um, I don't know now. I just googled ACT score and it wasn't pretty. If I tried to get into a decent school with a 20 on my ACT, I think they would laugh at me. And my SAT? Bwahahahaha. 354 Verbal and 409 Math. Thank goodness I didn't go into debt by going to school right away. At least now, when the baby that's baking goes to school, I stand a shot at getting a degree that I can actually use. Has that happened to you? You miss the school work but not the drama of school? Is it just me? I find myself really into the books you were forced to read in school. Beowulf (before the CGI Angelina movie came out thank you very much), The Great Gatsby (though the Robert Redford one is my fave movie version). I've found that the book is usually better than the movie. I t

See if you can answer these questions (click on the photos to enlarge them). Lord knows I couldn't answer them then so I sure as hell won't know it now. I don't use this stuff when popping in a Princess movie or weighing a banana. Shit, that's what the computers are for. Heh. See those doodles and whatnot on the last one my young readers? That's called long division . Yeah, we had to actually show the work. That's the only proof I have that at some point in my sad high school career, I knew something remotely educational. And no, these tests are not written on papyrus paper as my brother in law suggested. They're from the 80's. Not from the same era as the Dead See Scrolls.

Whilst in my nesting phase, I've been organizing. Sometimes that means moving piles of crap from one place to another. Just moving it. Sometimes it means actually ridding myself of whatever crappola is there. The following almost caused me to have an anxiety attack. Talk about flying back to the old school days. Yikes! I totally blew the SAT. I couldn't bring myself to post my score. And I took the test nearly 20 years ago. Double yikes. I loved the ASVAB. It was my favorite "mandatory" test there was. I did pretty well on it but still couldn't get in the military. Bah. The ACT. I did pretty decent but I've never liked the pressure of tests. I always choked. Kinda like the Vikings. Gosh, that was low lady. So low. I clearly wasn't as nervous with the PSAT given that I wrote our class "motto" on the bottom. Enjoy that little tidbit. You're welcome. This weekend: Sample questions, pathetic attempts to answer them and my sad, sad scores. On the

I think this whole blog everyday thing is pretty stinking ambitious on my part. I like to think that most of my posts are of some value (perhaps just to me but still, value none the less). There are times that it's just fluff. Meh. So what. I think I'm going to take one night off a month from blogging. Sometimes, something comes up and you don't even think about the choice. It's a no brainer. I had one of those times last night. I got to hang out with my brother in law, Pedro Juan. We talked for a couple hours and it was just like old times. We were serious, we were laughing, we just had a great time talking and hanging out. We haven't been able to do that in such a long time. All of us, hang out as a family. We miss it and now that things are changing for the absolute better, we can try to make up for lost time. Hopefully the he and the husband can start doing some things together again. The husband missed his brother so much. I've missed him. My kids have miss

This totally made my night. Oh how I love them so. I think I'll tell the husband that I want the FOTC show on DVD for my birthday. (Is it even out on DVD?* I should check on that one) Enjoy Sugar Lumps . There's also this one . Oh and this one . This one too. One more . Last one . Promise. I know I've blogged about these guys before but really? They kill me. I would take either of them home with me. That is, if I was single, of course. Ahem. Right. * ooh ooh , it is . yay!

Thank you. No really. Thank you. To the dozen or so people that pointed out to me that I'm pregnant while I was at work. I am so glad you told me. I was wondering what was going on. The update has been noted. To the other customers who have commented on how large I am for having twelve weeks left? I've got a newsflash for ya: Pregnant Women Get Bigger Please make a mental note of that will you? Thanks. I don't mind when people comment on my having a baby on the way. Lord knows I talk enough about it myself. It's just that you don't have to proclaim the news to me as though I wasn't aware of it. Oh and to the lady who was clearly dismayed that this is my third child: I don't need to hear you say "Oh, it's your third? Not as exciting right?" Sheesh, thanks. I'll send you the therapist's bill for her teen years. I love you, dear customers of mine. As my father says, "Engage thy brain before they mouth". Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm done

At least it wasn't a blowout. Thank goodness for small things. No customers said anything about the game when they came in tonight. That being said, it was the slowest I've ever seen for a non holiday. I was diggin' it though. I got a ton of stuff done and organized the hell out of the reset product. Now if the warehouse would get all the smokes in that people are asking for. I mean how long can you be out of freakin' Virginia Slims? Oh well. Having reviewed the commercials, these are my favorites. Feel free to agree or disagree in comments. 1. Hulu - I don't like Alec Baldwin, generally speaking. But the man is hilarious. 2. Cheetohs - Bwahahahaha. Bitch. 3. Nextel Roadies - Buckle up dudes. Heh. Did you watch the game? Like any commercials? Still sad the Cardinals lost? There, there, it's ok.