Skip to main content

I Can't Reach It!!

While I'm recovering from the chaos that was Friday*, I'm dealing with this ginormous baseball sized bruise on my belly. It's the one right next to the vertical scar that matches the one on my back from scoliosis surgery 21 years ago. I hope it doesn't heal thick and wide. I won't bitch about it (much) if it does. I'm just saying. I digress though.

They have me on Tylenol, a lovely stool softener and Oxycodone (sp?). I know it's not Oxycontin, I asked. I've discovered that this lovely pain killer takes away the pain, yay! but it also makes me itch something fierce. Usually within a half hour of taking them, the tickling on the skin starts. The worst? The worst is when I get the meds at 2 am and I can't reach the spot in between my shoulder blades. I won't wake the husband up for that because, well, that would be silly. I try to stretch my long ass arms to get it but I jacked the shoulder up while playing Twister** on Friday. Usually I'm so tired that I just fall asleep, sitting up and forget all about it.

I'll take the scratching over the pain anytime though. I knew you all were itchin' (bwahahaha!) for some useless information so you're welcome.

*When I get home this week, I'll be posting what happened.
**I'll explain this one too. Sorry.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

DOODLEBOPS UNMASKED - ALL THREE

Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...

Um What?

Why does he feel the need to do this? He sleeps with his hand in his pull up. He pulls his penis out during the day to show me. Here I thought it went to Penis Playgroup. How did Peanut know, before even touching the icicle that it would be cool and warranted the face of pure happiness? Oh how she was distraught when it was taken away. I think she was really just pissed off because Monkey Boy took it and broke it into 12 pieces and that was the end of Fun With Sharp Frozen Things. *** I'm so irked at the whole T.O. thing in Dallas. I wish Jerry Jones would just stick his head further up his ass. *** When you stub your toe and the next day it looks like your 3yr old colored your foot with black, blue and purple markers, you probably broke it. *** It doesn't feel good when said 3yr old stomps on said foot during one of appx 14 meltdowns - this morning. *** Trying to rearrange a bedroom that 2 kids and an adult share while all those people are in there? Not such a good idea. *** ...