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Weasley People

  • Lady in the red SUV,

Chill out for God's sake. The husband was going five under the limit. It had just switched to 50. Simmer down sister. If you had honked the horn again? Well, I don't know about the husband but I would have had a couple choice gestures for you. Maybe even some pretty colorful words.

Thanks much

  • Kids sitting behind us at the movies,

Listen, I read all the Harry Potter books too. My husband hasn't. Could you maybe refrain from speaking during the movie? Also, could you not speak of crucial plot points BEFORE THEY HAPPEN? Another thing? Shut up!

Thanks from the one who wanted to be surprised and me.

  • Dearest person somewhere in my breathing area,

Please take a shower before you come to see a super fluper popular movie. Everyone is packed like sardines. We don't want to smell like sardines. Be sure to get the soap wet. I hear that helps.

Thanks from the one who uses Dove Rose soap.

  • To whom it may concern at the movie theatre,

We love the huge screen. The seats are comfy. The popcorn is deelish. The pop is eh, so so. But really? What I love the most? Is how you make us bend over and take one for the team with the ticket prices. Ri-damn-diculous is what it is.

Thanks for the stretching though!

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