Baby It's Cold Outside. (Subtitle: No Shit Sherlock)

It goes without saying that it's colder than a snowman's fart outside. Actually, at this moment it's relatively warm at a balmy 27F. Tomorrow should be ok at 17F. Then Sunday and Monday? Those assholes are out to get us. Working together! Damn Sunday, why you gotta be like that? -15 will be the high.

NEGATIVE FIFTEEN DEGREES FAHRENHEIT.

for the HIGH.

what. the. hell?

Our low for Sunday evening? -26F. I can't. I just can't. The govnuh (and yes, you must say it that way. DO IT!) has closed all public schools for Monday because of the chilly weather. I'm pretty sure Sophia did a happy dance when she heard that. She's the only one of the 3 kids who has to actually wait outside for her bus. The other two get front door service, perks of the little bus. Sophia hates to bundle up, she overheats by the time she gets to school. She's extremely proficient at layers but still, way too cold for her to stand out there.

If you're going outside, please bundle up. Duh. If you don't need to be out there, uh don't be?? My store was jam packed today with people getting ready to hunker down for a few days. Right now it's sleeting/raining and I anticipate our roads to suck ass tomorrow. Please be careful my friends. (I can call you my friends yes? gosh I hope so). Now go make some chili and have a great weekend!

Comments

Nice To Meet You

Hi. I just got here last week. They call me the Littlest Little. I'm glad to be here and I'm sure I'll be seein' ya around. This my mama. She's always telling me that she loves me and is so blessed to have me in her life. Sometimes she cries. Wait, that's all the time. Someone should get her a tissue or two or a box. This is my daddy. See my pinky here? He's wrapped around it already. I don't think he minds though. This is Fluffy and she's the coolest auntie there is. Her little girl, Monkey? I dig that one. Hopefully she and I can be the best of friends. It's my uncle, Pedro Juan. Everyone says I'm a mellow baby and that he was the same way when he was but a baby. That's cool with me. I love my Peej. Hopefully I'll have photos of me with my cousins and siblings tomorrow. And Uncle Kota? Mama is trying to find the picture of us together. She's not all that fast on the uptake. Cut her some slack though k? If she gets her poop in...

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Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...

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