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Customer Appreciation

To the man who looks like he could be Wesley Snipes not so attractive brother,

When you're buying the KY for you and the lady, try not to look so damn excited at the register. I'm sure you would get laid a lot more and perhaps not need the KY if you didn't treat her like crap. Also, not that I want to sleep with you (pause whilst I shudder in horror) you don't need to treat me like crapola either.

Still shuddering,
Your Loverly Cashier

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To all the people who shop after they've unloaded their carts onto the belt,

Yes you dumbass. I'm talking to you. And you and even you. Once you've heaped your 89 items on the belt, you're done. I'd like to tell you, "No, you can't go get one bag of chips." because the last time I said that, I didn't see the girl again for five minutes. FIVE. Cinco. Oh, you thought you would grab a couple more things on the way back? Sure no problemo, you can pay the hospital bill I'll have when this lady behind you is done doing bodily harm to me for being so m'f'ing nice. When someone's standing behind you with a couple items, don't dillydaddle looking at the candy saying, "What......should......I......get?" How's about getting your ass back in your jeans instead of making it roll over the edges. I really don't need to see that and in a place where people are buying food makes it even worse. Blech. Get a Twix and move on sister!

Get 'er done before you come see me,
Your Loverly Cashier

Comments

Margaret said…
Ahhh! You're scaring me. Sounds a lot like my experiences cashiering at Walmart. (Once upon a time)

Have you come across the "Period Pandimonium Shopping Spree'er" yet? The woman who makes it painfully obvious that her Aunt Flo is in town by purchasing the entire inventory in the Feminine Protection aisle?

Totaling $180 plus change as she tells you to have a nice day and walks away with that tell tale limp? They crack me up.

-Margie
Erin said…
LOL! uh, I've done it before. Not five minutes though. And only, like, once. and not since I've had kids. it's not worth it. Sorry.
Trish said…
the ones who leave their kids there but come back for the PURSE! those are the ones I want to beat with the stupid stick.
JerseyTjej said…
LOL! This post is a keeper (as is the artwork I just stole from you also!). Bring that fiyah girl!

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