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Showing posts from July, 2006

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow 41-60

Not all of the hair is gone but most of the big hair is.

60. Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
I love when you can't understand most of the words in a song. Really though, I love just about anything by them. Andre 3k shares my birthday with me. Never sends me a card. Bastard.

59. Sister Christian - Night Ranger
Ya know how everyone has that one song that reminds them of teenage love? Really takes you back to the days of carefree love and life? An anthem for their angst filled years? This isn't the song for me. I just love the drums.

58. Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira
Love love love her voice. She's on the short list of women that are nice eye candy. And the moves? She and Plushenko should get together and hip it out.

57. Digital Getdown - N*SYNC
I don't think it's any secret that my musical taste ranges from good to absolute and udder wtf was she thinking? status. I hear this and it reminds me of LaCrosse for some reason. I'm pretty sure I wanted JC and/or Justin to do n…

61-80 The Hair Edition

80. 18 and Life - Skid Row
I'm convinced that if we have another boy his name will be Sebastian. Did anyone watch Supergroup? Love him even more after he showed his emotions regarding his father passing. I cried along with him. Just stop the drinking Baz, you'll be ok.

79. We Are The Dinosaurs - Laurie Berkner
Even if you don't have children, please for the love of all things holy, watch the video. I love the song more now because of the video but also because my neice and daughter sing it so cute. I'll have to put those videos up.

78. All That She Wants - Ace of Base
I have no clue why I like it, I'm sure there will be more of these kinds of selections. Sorry.

77. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue
This one always makes me think of the sailors at the bowling alley in Great Lakes. I had so many crushes and my poor father had a heart attack with a couple of the guys I did date. Sorry Pops.

76. Rock Me - Great White
Once Bitten was overplayed I think. This one always got me moving…

It's All About The Numbers

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah tagged me today. Hopefully it won't take me 4hours to do this one. I promise I'll have more of the song list in the next couple days.

(Just as I finished that sentence, my son started to pee on the couch, I had to wrestle him to the bathroom, praise his peeing in the chair, help him wash his hands, keep his sister from sticking her head in the toilet and her fingers in the fan THEN I had to open the video store for Mr. I Wanna Watch That And I Don't Want To Be Scared (whatever that means). He changed his mind about 7 times, I threatened to take them all away and he selected Snow White. Or as he calls it, "The Lady and The Apple Movie".)

(I just typed THAT out and he's scared of the Lady and the Apple. I told him to wait for the dwarves cause dwarves are funny. [I mean that in a non offensive way] I had to stand in there and wait for whatever scary part it was to pass [the witch was talking to her mirror - terrifying I know] I passed the …

81-100 Be Prepared.... say, "What the frickin frack is she smoking over there? and why is she not sharing?" I am such a goofy goober. I can't possibly list 100 of my favorite songs. Putting them in order? Fuhgeddaboutit. I'm just gonna go balls to the walls and list the first 100 I can think of. I have no doubt whatsoever that I will look back on the list and go "What the shit is that on there for?". I'm sure I'll get tired of looking for videos for these as well or I'll get bored with artist videos and pick some weird shit. Also, I'm limiting myself to 3 songs by one artist. If I really like more than three, well, call the Pope cause a miracle has occured.

That being said, in no particular order, numbers 81-100 of my top 100 songs.

100. Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing - Chris Issak
This song makes me think naughty thoughts and my husband is ok with that. TMI I know, sorry.

99. Because The Night - Natalie Merchant
One of the few songs that I feel confident I can sing lo…

Well, Pfftthh

Flickr is down so no cute pics of the kidlets today and I have some doozies.

Doh! Damnit I hate when my superior stupidity shows so glaringly!! I can post them right here in the blog.

::smacking self in head::

On with the show.......

It was a Three Pony kinda day. One on top and two in the back. Why does that sound so bad when said outloud? Sigh.

Daddy was trying to put a pillowcase on. Some little urchins were having none of that thank you very much. Note his shirt. Irony much?
Also take note: Monkey Boy is wearing big boy underwear under the pull up. Peanut has a pull up on over her pants and diaper. She also sits on his potty chair fully clothed and wipes her ass with the KanDoo. On her pants. She may beat him to the "big underwear all the time" goal.West Siiiiiiiiiiiide representin'! Chocolate is in da hiz ouse!
PS - I promise that I am working on my list. It's hard to put them in order of favorites and that's if I can even think of all of the songs. I'll find s…

I'm Sorry, That's Incorrect. It Was Not In The Form Of A Question.

From Les -

1: Which "era" was you? I hit the teen screams in the 80's, (oooh - the painted on denim, sparkly headbands on the forehead, tuxedo shirts and, yes, the Great BIG HAIR!!!) and I'm thinking it was you talked about your "embarassing heart-throb music", no...?

I graduated in 91 but I'll always feel like an 80's kid. I had the tidal wave bangs, stirrup pants, Cabbage Patch Kids, LA Style Hairspray (I'm fairly certain my crowd of friends {of the male and female persuasion} contributed significantly to the ozone hole), Headbanger's Ball (with sucky Adam Curry who by the way apparantly created some Podcast program. So some VJs DO have a life after MTV. Who'da thunk it?), mad crush on Jani Lane and oh hell, I'll admit, all of the hairband "metal" groups. I was also into cruising the mall and actually buying something, watching DeGrasssi Jr. High but the old school version. Oh and 21 Jumpstreet? I had posters of Johnny Depp…

This, That, And Some Questions Maybe?

Dear Asshats and Dipshit Broads,
The heat wave is over. Get the hell out of my store and my line.
Your Loverly Cashier

Earlier this morning:
Monkey Boy: Mommy, I have to go potty (doing the dance)
Mommy: Ok, let's go to the bathroom

(I'm now sitting on his potty chair and he's gracing the porcelien one with his pudgy tush. A crow caws in the yard next door - loudly)
MB: What was that Mommy?
M: A crow. They say caw caw (MB is doing his duty - I said duty. hehe and you can hear each load being released)
MB: What was that Mommy?
M: The crow again
MB: The crow in my butt?
M: Oh wait, if the noise came from there then no, it's your butt not a crow.
MB: You don't want to see my poop Mommy.
M: That is correct my son.
MB: We get poop at the store?
M: Uh, not my store.
MB: Oh no Mommy, poop is berry berry tinky. I don't want to get it.
M: Good choice little man, good choice.
MB: I love you Mommy
M: I love you too honey. Now hurry up and poop. My knees are killing me sitting this low…

Lord, Help Us All

Things that I absolutely can't stand When I ask someone "What's wrong?" and I get nothing back. Not "Nothing". I mean nothing. No response, no shrug. Just a blank stare. Well, that's something I guess. When someone tails me while I'm going the speed limit in a speed trap zone. When I put my signal light on with plenty of time for the ass above to slow down and then they come literally within an inch or so of hitting me and then get pissed and flip me off. Ya know what Sparky? I have no air in my car or house, my period's coming and it's hotter than hell outside. Did I mention I was wearing hot (not ooh she's hot hot) jammie pants cause I haven't shaved in two weeks and you can see the forest blooming on my legs? Yeah that tends to add to the bitter and anger. BACK OFF. Communication. Communication. Communication. I have to tread lightly here so I don't get in trouble. I try to communicate with people. When they don't want to tal…

It's Thursday People

one more day until Fah-Rye-Day. Until then....

Thirteen Things That Drive Me BatShit CrazyPeople who drive fast cars in the fast lane, going 10 under the speed limit. Thanks! Children who are old enough to know manners and still can't manage to get the words please and thank you in their vocabulary so they can actually use them. CoWorkers who leave the register looking like absolute crap so that when I come in and tell a customer I can help them over here, I have to apologize because it looks like shit. Not having air conditioning. I've mentioned this before yes? My son not being potty trained* When TMoblile drops a call for no reason whatsoever. Getting my period. Ok so I like that I'm not pregnant all the time but seriously? I'm the biggest bitch in the world when it comes to the couple days before the big red show. I hate how I am and I cry just thinking about it. Wait, when am I due for it again? My daughter taking her shorts off all the time and then removing her diaper l…

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad,

While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you:
When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something, don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation:Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat)Crotchety Broad: I…

Happy Humpday

I never imagined Mongolians looking like this:

Wrestlers wait to compete in the Mongolion capital Ulan Bator at the annual Naadam Festival, which this year coincides with celebrations to mark the 800th anniversary of the founding of the Mongol Empire

I Don't Think This Was In The Sermon

Speaking of Jesus is coming......Someone needs to tell the lady driving the red neon this info.

The Captain and his dad were going up north to work on fencing in property the family has up there. They pull into the SA for some gas and treats. There is one spot open that would accomodate the truck and trailer but some lady has parked her Neon about 4 feet from the pump. My FIL parked about a foot away from the pump he was at. So now they are next to each other at the pumps. She goes to get in her car and hits my FIL's truck with the door. He was washing the back window and looked around the corner at her. He came up to her car and smacked his hand on the trunk and said "What do you think you're doing?". Oh. My. God. This lady, wait, no, this broad, goes into the station and starts yelling at the employees that some jerk just hit her car and she wants them to do something about it while she takes down the license plate and calls the cops. The Captain was in there and di…

Big Brother Is Watching

All Stars baby!! I signed up for the live feeds and oh am I excited. It's a little boring now what with them "getting to know each other" even though we've seen them all on the show before. It's gonna be interesting as the game goes on. I'll hold off on who I think will win until we get going a little more.

Two days off from work and I have to say, I kinda missed it. Sad, I know.

Monkey Boy has decided that he's "going ghost" all the time now. Usually when he's being punished. It's fun let me tell you. :::rolling eyes:::

Little Miss Peanut needs to reign her inner diva in right now. If she ain't happy, no one is. It's not pretty.

My husband's cousin, The Big B, stopped by today with his other grandparents on his way back to the airport. Monkey Boy told him to get out of his house. That prompted the first "We love all of our family and we welcome them in our house" speech. Then he told ME to get out. I just keep remindin…

If I Look Hard Enough

Maybe I'll see some fireworks whilst I'm slaving away at work tonight. Most people think we're closed for the 4th but no, I'm working 'til midnight so believe me, we're open.

I knew it would happen. Work just called seeing if I would come in early, 3 hours early. I'm a sucker for money so of course I said yes. This may backfire on me since the biggest dipshit that works there is working tonight as well. Yay, I get to listen to whining and complaining. Wait. That's what I'm doing right now. Ah but wait, I can do that cause I say so. He just needs shut his pie hole.

Ya know, I just read that above and wow, I'm a tad bitter. Hmm. Wish me luck

Have a great 4th of July if you celebrate!

If I Had Known.....

...that I would see this, I totally would have watched the draft. As it was, I was relishing this delicious sight. Yum. Monkey Boy is screaming for some mac n cheese so off I go to slave over the hot stove. Ha! I almost got that out with a straight face. And who knew you could get that stuff at Amazon? That's crazy.

I'll be back later with a letter to a customer, some random thoughts and maybe a cute picture or two.

From Email

Penis. Needs. To. Breath. Now. Please!

I love the covert way they took the photo

Having A Shitty Day?

.....then you'll want to watch this.

Coming up tomorrow: How to read a coupon and not piss off your lovely and super friendly cashier who only works there because she needs a break from her deliriously crazy children and hey, the air conditioning is icing on the cake. Plus she needs the money. Don't we all?

He's On the DL

Monkey Boy was playing with one of those laniard type buckle key chain necklace things (I looked it up, that's what they are called - true) and he pinched his finger. Drew a teeny bit of blood and a lot of tears.

"Mommy, make my owie come off please!"

"Mommy stop playing with Peanut!"
"So, um, because you got hurt, I can't play with your sister?"
"Yes Mommy"

"Mommy help me touch my owie!!"
"You want me to help you touch it?"
"Oh no Mommy! Please don't touch it!!!!"

And He Shalled Be Named......

The Captain, But That's Not What He Was Named For (TCBTNWHWNF) That took way too long to type out;
no acronym for him. When my
husband was a baby, my mother
in law introduced him to her
Gramma and when told what his
name was, the dear woman said,
"That's ok, he can change it when
he grows up".
Take a moment for yourselves.
Did you feel the warm fuzzies?
I know I did.

His name is Kirk. Like the Captain, but that's not what he was named for. I always get Curt or Kurt? No, the two Curts I know are my dad and my cousin's husband and the only Kurt I know (personally - I just thought of Kurt Warner) is my friend's husband. He is named Kirk. Two Ks. Juuuuuuuuuuust like the Captain though to my knowledge he has not had to deal with Tribbles.He hasn't worn a shirt that shade of pea soup poop green either. Unless his mom has photos and if she does, they are so going on here. He is a huge Trekkie though. Not an interesting story, I know, but I had to give the man a bloggin…