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Showing posts from November, 2006

Wana Do Something?

Check this out and vote! I see Sarah'sBucs are pretty low there on the totem pole. What the hell is with all the Packer fans? My father must be voting several hundred times. I think the amount of votes they have is more than Green Bay's actual population. (It is. By a LOT. Scary) Also scary is the votes outnumber the largest city's population. Naturally I voted for my boys and the Vikes just to keep peace in the house.

The kids must be destroying their room quietly if I had enough time and patience to put all them there links in. I should probably look in on 'em yes?

Up next.......My Christmas List Part 1

What? A Week?

I don't know how it happened. Don't ask, I won't/can't tell. How the hell a week got away from me is out of my thought process.

We've seen this movie waaaaaaay too many times in the last 5 days (and by "we" I mean "me" {rather I've if you want to be grammatically correct}).

The Captain got this last night and I swear he almost needed a room to himself he was so damn happy.

Monkey Boy wants this for Christmas. According to him, that is his best friend Butterscotch. He also wants to be this next Halloween. And it has to be the one pictured, not any other one of them.

Peanut has developed a lisp. It's cute, a little concerning but the cuteness outweighs that.

How many customers can come in and act a fool? Um, too many to count here. I'll try to ball park it later.

And Exit Stage Left

I'm out. No chance for me to win anything in the NaBloPoMo. I missed yesterday because I was shopping for Turkey Day and then worked til midnight. Oh well. I'll still write everyday because I'm liking it. I've got several ideas and some posts started.

Today (and everyday really) I am thankful for my family, that they are all in good health and happy (for the most part). I'm thankful for a great husband who listens to me whine about my back pain, my job and Reese and Ryan divorcing. I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm thankful that I have two beautiful, energetic, happy and crazy children. The joy they have brought to my life is not describable in words. I cherish them so much and find myself crying sometimes at just how lucky I am to be their mom.

I'm thankful for my in-laws. All of them. Really. I know people will think I'm crazy but I really do feel grateful and happy to have them in my life. My mother in …

Just The Shallow End Today

No deep thinking for me please. I don't have enough room in my head for another migraine. I stole this post idea from one of my favorites, Mocha Momma. She cracks me up and since she stole it from someone else, I know she won't mind me doing the same. I have to admit that I kinda like memes, provided the questions are varied. It's irritating getting some and finding that all of them have at least 9 of the same questions. At any rate, here we go:


1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
"There was a stone planter on the front porch, as well as a rocking chair and a Pepsi machine. The county had enough money back then to air-condition the jail, but it was a window unit, not central air-conditioning." Marked For Death by Brian Karem (I really like reading true crime and I don't know why)

2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
The brown sectional couch and most times, one of my k…

They Really Like Our Corner

The popo really like our street. They like to pull people over in front of the house to tease me. I don't know what happens to me but I lose my mind when I see the lights outside the window. My father in law even calls me at work to torment me. I love watching people take the sobriety test and doing the play by play safely ensconsed in the house so as not to get in trouble. Today's perp is this fella's doppleganger. I would think he got a ticket for the loud Boeing 747 engine he had on the bike or the no helmet thing, not sure. Either way, the officer was very easy on the eyes. After the popo left, the guy could not get his bike to start. It was hilarious to watch him try and try to no avail. He finally backed the bike up, hitched up his pants (and thank god he did that) then took off running, jumped on the bike and popped it. It sounded like it was going to die every 3 seconds and I thought he was going to run into my FIL's truck. Alas, he made it to the park next doo…

I'm Sorry, So Sorry

Dear Customers,

If you were shopping near Monkey Boy and me today, I would like to extend my apologies. I think it was the water I drank last night. Every time I drink a bottle of that kind, this happens. I had a plan though, if I was approached. I was going to blame the boy. That's what moms do in these situations. I was pulling the cart behind me so that if it was noticed, the boy was there. I will apologize to him later if he feels slighted by this choice. Good thing the fans in the store work hey?

Aromatically,
Your Loverly Cashier

The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On Fire!!

The Captain dern near burnt down his sister's kitchen. Rum and a lit match makes for pretty visuals. Video to come soon.

By the way, I have a couple of urchins available to loan out. They are excellent forms of birth control. One is mostly potty trained, the other is a diva in training (though I'm sure she could show Mariah Carey a thing or two).

I would blabber more but I've got to close the patio door (the smoke has cleared out) and I have to make the ringing in my ears stop. Those smoke detectors are loud like a mo' fo.

What The....

"Mommy, look, I made my penis bigger!"

I keep saying I'm doomed. No one believes me.



The outburst at the end there? Imagine that about 12 seconds longer and approximately 57 times a day. Yeah, that's my boy.


She is so damn stubborn. Sheesh.

On The Road Again

to recovery that is. I finally got something for the pain. It takes the edge off and that's all I need really. Now I can go back to work. I know I sound crazy but I love my job and I hate calling in sick. I always feel bad wondering if they were able to cover my shift or not. I really shouldn't be caring but I like most of the people I work with and to think that they are having a rough time cause we're short a cashier makes me feel bad. I need to stop thinking that way. That's how I end up letting people walk all over me, I can't say no and I care too much about things that shouldn't worry me. Hmph.

In other news, I have never seen an episode of DWTS but I've been rooting for Emmit Smith all along because, well duh, he's Emmit Smith. He'll always be my favorite Cowboy.

TomKat is supposedly getting married this weekend. Thank God. Now I can sleep better at night knowing another celebrity couple has started their path to inevitable divorce.

My friend Ge…

My Only Lame Post This Month

or at least I hope so. It took me 90 minutes to get 10 things at the store. Monkey Boy was with me and he was really good so 90 minutes is ridiculous. That my friends, that is how bad my pain is. Saw the doc in the morning and he gave me muscle relaxers and I have Naproxen at home. I'm still in as much pain, if not more, than I was this morning. I'm calling him tomorrow about pain pills. Who the hell expects me to be able to corral my children like this? Who I say? Do they want to borrow mine for a couple hours? I don't mind. I think of it as birth control for some people. So now I sit here in pain and can't go to sleep. Yes, that's what I was looking for.

Behold....The Power Of Spongebob

and the first one to try it out was Peanut. She's going to be potty trained before Monkey Boy you watch. Though in his defense he does stay on task when he's in underwear all day. I got lazy for awhile there and did Pull Ups but those bad boys are sucking the money right out of me. Plus the boy would stand there, look at me, stand there some more then say, "Oh, I just peed in my Pull Up Mommy." Yeah, no more of those during the day.

Mommy: Good job Peanut! You peed in the potty chair!!
Monkey Boy: It's not a potty chair Mommy, it's a TOIL...ET.

I guess I was put in my place. I was also informed that it's not the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz (that we have watched ad nauseum the last two days). No, it's the Ravioli guy. What do I know? Not much if you ask my son. And it gets worse when they are teenagers? I remember me as a teen. Oh god. I'm in trouble.

Something has gone horribly awry with the left side of my back. I can't hold my head straight or…

Dear Customers,

Im not specifying any particular customer because this is for all of you that are planning on coming to my store today:

If the Vikings are winning, YAY!! WOOHOO!! That's awesome! All of the cashiers will be in a good mood. However, :::taking a deep breath::: if they are losing (or have lost by the time you get to the store) please do not take it out on us. I am not responsible for Brad Johnson and whatever screwups he makes. Isn't that someone else's job like oh, I don't know, Childress? I know our offense blows the big one. Combine that with you not getting what you want in the store, I can see where you'll get frustrated. Just take a deep breath. Remember that no matter what, the Packers suck. They won't play in the big game for years. YEARS. The Bears? Have no worries. They get so arrogant that they end up helping the other team beat them. The Patriots was just a bad night. Please people, it's not the end of the world. The store has nothing to do with the…

Mr. Moviephone Must Die

I just wanted to know how much the ticket would be for the two year old. That's all. I already know when the movie will be showing, where the theatre is located and other such things that I really don't give a rat's patootey about. How much are ya gonna milk me for the toddler who probably won't see 1/2 of the flick? I didn't find out til we got to the place.*

My son has been raving about Flushed Away ever since the previews started showing on the tv. He has never been to the movies because hi, Mommy has enough stress going on all day everyday and to toss in the movies with the two kidlets is like tossing her in with the lions ala Gladiator. (If Joaquin was there though, I would be ok). Let me tell you right now:

I don't know who those children were and what they did with mine but they can come see us anytime. These kids sat down and were quiet, quiet!, in the theatre for 9/10 of the movie. At the end they both wanted to see it again. We had one stinky diaper and…

Say What?

One of the more entertaining stories in the news today.

I think I needed a cigarette after we watched this. It's gonna be a long winter.

Ed Bradley, Jack Palance and Gerald Levert have all died this week. There's the trifecta of bad news. No more please. Unless it's FedEx. No, I kid, I don't wish his death. Permanent loss of voice? Sure.

I have tomorrow off and need ideas of what to do with the husband and kids. It's suppposed to be 37 degrees, very sunny and only slightly windy. We want to do something outside the house but not expensive. Ha! Long list of requirements I know. I'm gonna look around the good ol' web and see what she has for me. Any ideas, send them this way.

There's a new show coming on the The National Geographic Channel that I am really wanting to see. I love elephants, esp elephant babies. I think being a mom makes me want to see this too. Isn't this the stuff we were forced to watch in high school and we hated it? I find myself watch…

The Man In Black Makes Me Cry

I never thought in a million years I would ever say (out loud or to myself) that I really like Johnny Cash. Everytime I hear a song of his, I want to cry. In a good way of course. This is one of those things I wish I had learned to appreciate when it was around me. I'm planning on getting some of his albums. Maybe some of the collections but I've heard so many of his "non charting" songs and man, I really, really like them. I will admit right here and now that this thing with Johnny started with Joaquin. When I saw that he would be playing him and add Reese to the cast? How could I not see the movie? I was so moved by the Cash's story. Truly. I cry everytime I see the movie. I cry when I hear Ring of Fire (unless I'm with tipsy/drunk people who think it's an ad for Prep H). His voice is so soothing and almost healing**. His influence on people in completely different genres of music is astounding. His connection to the common man is something that you jus…

19 Years Rust Free

I have been standing upright for 19 years now. How's that you say? I have had scoliosis my entire life. Started out with a small, teeny curve in my spine that was noticed when I was 8. No need to worry they told my parents. Fast forward 5 years when we were living in Great Lakes, IL (and since no one but Navy brats know where that is, we'll just say Waukegan, IL). My 8th grade teacher, Ms. Burger (with the really tight curly perm that was super duper blonde to the point of hey? is that bleach? whatever it is can't be good for her hair) noticed that I was sitting leaning to left. I would tilt my head to the right to compensate and really, it was over compensating. My elementary school just started back screenings that year. I was the first one where the nurse said to get my parents on the phone right. now.

My parents took me to Gunderson Hosp in LaCrosse, WI (my first introduction to LaCrosse) and the doc there said that he could do the surgery but not the follow up because …

Work With Me! Please?

Let's get dressed you two so Mommy can go vote. Can't make a difference in the world if you don't vote. Can't complain if you don't vote. No, you don't get to vote this time but I promise when you are old enough, I will go with you if you want. Let's get the double stroller so you guys can ride around instead of Mommy having to chase you down. No, Daddy went this morning, sorry kiddo. Please get in your carseat. No you can't sit in your brother's seat. You're too small. Monkey Boy! Get out of the road and get in the car! You can talk to the electrician later as I'm sure he'll be working on that when we get home in a couple hours.

Stairs? How the hell am I to get the stroller up there? Jesus Mary Martha. Well let's go guys, please stay by Mommy and hey! There's a car coming, hold my hand please. Well you can hold your sister's hand too. I'm sorry she doesn't want you to. I know. Life sucks.

Ok we're here. Sit over th…

Stop Wiping Your Boogers On Her!

I am addicted to Target. It waivers between evil and pure genius. I could seriously spend hours in there if I didn't need to tend to children and see my husband. I could easily drop a couple hundred in there and none of it on me. They have the cutest clothes for kids. Peanut's shirts are from there and she has her newest one on today. If that was in a size 5, it would totally be on Monkey Boy 24 hours a day. They had one there that said No! YOU calm down! I had to restrain myself.

I have somehow managed to lose my driver's license and I am so livid at myself. I only use it at my store, it's always in my wallet so where. the. hell. is. it?
Peanut is currently gnawing on a It's Cool To Eat At School bracelet. Ironic? I think so. Maybe molars are coming in?
Monkey Boy saw a video of Uncle PJ singing on here and decided he wanted to be a rockstar as well. I forgot with my camera that I can't turn it sideways or the video will be sideways. Anyone know how I can fix tha…

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatchya Gonna Do?

Dad: If you ever get arrested, you're spending the night in jail and I'll think about coming to get you the next day.
Me: Um ok

That was how I stayed out of trouble in high school and my early twenties. I knew he meant business. I'm an only child and a daddy's girl. My dad would do anything for me but if he got a call to come get my stupid ass outta jail? That's not on the list of things to do.

I was spanked when I was a kid and I can still now, when I close my eyes, smell the paneling from the corner that I resided in for a good chunk of the 7 years we lived in N. Charleston, SC. (On a side note, N. Charleston is something like the 10th most violent city in the US. Talking with my best friend the other night, whose parents still live in our old neighborhood, and we both don't recall any violence when we lived there. Maybe we blocked it out of our heads.) That paneling though? Yikes, if I was really in trouble you could see the condensation from my breath on the &…

Is Today The Day Mommy?

Every morning around 6ish, my son asks if today's the day. He is so excited about the Spongebob marathon that starts Nov 9. He truly understands the concept of Spongebob all day long. All. Day. Long. It will, after all, be "The Best Day Ever". I know ya'll are looking forward to it. Yeah, me too. My saving grace will be that there's a new episode when it's all over and they'll play the movie on tv after that. We watched the movie about 5 1/2 times yesterday. It's still funny to me but I'm close to od'ing.

Why do kids like repetitive things? I mean I will buy my some of my alltimefavoritemovies but I've really got to like the movie to purchase it. Kind of like a cd, I have to really like the artist or the whole thing otherwise I feel like I have wasted my money. I know kids thrive on structure and the repeating of everything. Everything. Sometimes I'm just befuddled as to why they like it. If I have to hear the same thing more than 3-10…

Freaky Friday

I think I may make this a common thing for Fridays. (I swear I almost typed out Thursday, got to the s and realized I'm a dumbass zoned out mom today)

What the hell is with kids and wanting to look at poop? Inspect the poop. Smell the poop. If I turned away for a second, I'm sure she would have taste tested as well. If Monkey Boy is in the room, he will beg to "just look at the poop Mommy PUHLEEZE!" and won't relent until you crumble in defeat and hold up the glorious feces filled diaper for all to see. I tell them they've looked at it long enough because Mommy's lungs are filling with toxic fumes that clearly toddler lungs are immune to and I'm met with such sadness and indignation from them. How dare she take away our poop? So what if she's turning blue and almost falling over? We know how to get the cereal on top of the fridge. We know how to get the donuts and juice. What is her problem? It's just poop Mom!

Friday is my Monday. I have every …

He Shoots And It's Sooooooooooold

We finally have sold the wagon. It's been outta commission for 2 1/2 years. Sitting in the driveway for exactly a year. What a wagon. It hauled me and my maid of honor from Waukesha to Iowa for my wedding. No air conditioning. In June. Fun times my friends, fun times. It was a good car for us. We could fit a ton of stuff in it and the sunroof made it feel like a cool car. Yeah, I'm kinda sad to see it go but we can use the money. Couldn't we all use the money?

Now here I was all excited about doing the 30Day Blog experiment and it appears I've done up and screwed up. I could have sworn that I started my Nov 1 post after midnight but it appears not. Oh well. I shall still write everyday.

When Peanut has two ponies in and you take them out at the end of the day, you get a Bozo the Clown Jr. It's pretty funny especially when you brush it out and really make it poofy.

It's been a slow and relatively quiet day today. The three hour nap the kids took at the exact same t…

You Didn't Ask But Here's Some Advice

BOO!
When you know you're going to be working a 5 hour shift at the store, standing and walking the whole damn time, don't wear knee high, 3 inch heel, 1 size too small boots. I don't care how cute they look on you, how hot the husband gets seeing them on you. Don't. Do. It. The pain? It's indescribable. If my foot was run over by the pallet jack tonight, I wouldn't have even noticed. I did come perilously close to breaking my ankle a couple times when my foot decided to go visit the other one without telling me. Damn limbs and their own minds. I thought that was just a man problem.

When wearing a long, black, itchy wig it's a good idea to have a clip of some sort or a pony holder. I was looking like Cher* for the first hour or so. I even stuck the tongue out like Jack. I was told I should sing whilst doing that but I don't believe in torturing innocent people. That and I would hear whining from the Clean Team because they would need to clean up the bleed…