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Work With Me! Please?

Let's get dressed you two so Mommy can go vote. Can't make a difference in the world if you don't vote. Can't complain if you don't vote. No, you don't get to vote this time but I promise when you are old enough, I will go with you if you want. Let's get the double stroller so you guys can ride around instead of Mommy having to chase you down. No, Daddy went this morning, sorry kiddo. Please get in your carseat. No you can't sit in your brother's seat. You're too small. Monkey Boy! Get out of the road and get in the car! You can talk to the electrician later as I'm sure he'll be working on that when we get home in a couple hours.

Stairs? How the hell am I to get the stroller up there? Jesus Mary Martha. Well let's go guys, please stay by Mommy and hey! There's a car coming, hold my hand please. Well you can hold your sister's hand too. I'm sorry she doesn't want you to. I know. Life sucks.

Ok we're here. Sit over there guys. Here have some Spongebob candy. Sure you can have two. Mommy needs to register now because she never got around to it and hey! I found my driver's license. It was at work in with some pictures I keep there to show off the kids to regular customers. (Not regular like fiber regular but....oh hell, you knew what I meant. Didn't you?) No Peanut, bring Mommy's ID back. GET AWAY FROM THE FIRE ALARM!!!

Hi I need to vote please. Is there someplace I can corral these two since I couldn't use the stroller to contain them? No, I didn't know I could've parked in the back and come in that way. Since it said handicap only! But I get to use the handicap voting booth? Cause it's bigger? Electric border control there for the kids? No? Ok.

Yes! Mommy voted. Yes, those 17 I VOTED stickers look fab on you. Thanks for putting one in Peanut's hair. Let's go get Daddy's medication refilled (and Mommy needs to take hers). No you can't walk around the store. We're using the stroller for sure on this one.

No you can't have any of the following:
A Spongbob birthday card
A Halloween witch hangy thing
A $40 wooden airplane
A $4 toy truck with two cows in the back
The economy box of condoms - Mommy got those the other day
The South Beach Diet bars. You don't need a diet. You need a nap.

Oh the meds are ready? Thank God. Off to the evil McDonald's we go. Please tell me you'll fall asleep on the way there or back. Yes? Yes! Yes you can say hi to the guy at the drive thru window. Yes sir, there's a boy saying hi to you, please don't ignore him. You looked right at him. Say hello. H.E.L.L.O. It's not that hard, I promise. Bastard. Yes you can say hi to the next person. See? She's nice, she said hi.

Peanut's asleep, please stop screeching because you didn't get another Flushed person with a clock (compass) on his belly. Ok unbuckle, let's go inside. Now please. NOW!

Please eat. Stop yelling. Eat your nuggets. Stop blowing bubbles in the milk. Stop screeching. Your sister is asleep! SSSHHH!!! Good gravy train! Knock it off. Done? Good. Upstairs, Mommy needs a nap. You can watch BobBob and Gary.

Great. I can't get to sleep. Just FAB. U. LOUS.

Comments

Les Becker said…
I'm so glad I just had the one, suddenly.... LOL! You poor Mommy...
oomm said…
You know normally I'm not so much big on the mommy blogs but this was freakin hysterical! I'm having flashbacks.

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