Skip to main content

Work With Me! Please?

Let's get dressed you two so Mommy can go vote. Can't make a difference in the world if you don't vote. Can't complain if you don't vote. No, you don't get to vote this time but I promise when you are old enough, I will go with you if you want. Let's get the double stroller so you guys can ride around instead of Mommy having to chase you down. No, Daddy went this morning, sorry kiddo. Please get in your carseat. No you can't sit in your brother's seat. You're too small. Monkey Boy! Get out of the road and get in the car! You can talk to the electrician later as I'm sure he'll be working on that when we get home in a couple hours.

Stairs? How the hell am I to get the stroller up there? Jesus Mary Martha. Well let's go guys, please stay by Mommy and hey! There's a car coming, hold my hand please. Well you can hold your sister's hand too. I'm sorry she doesn't want you to. I know. Life sucks.

Ok we're here. Sit over there guys. Here have some Spongebob candy. Sure you can have two. Mommy needs to register now because she never got around to it and hey! I found my driver's license. It was at work in with some pictures I keep there to show off the kids to regular customers. (Not regular like fiber regular but....oh hell, you knew what I meant. Didn't you?) No Peanut, bring Mommy's ID back. GET AWAY FROM THE FIRE ALARM!!!

Hi I need to vote please. Is there someplace I can corral these two since I couldn't use the stroller to contain them? No, I didn't know I could've parked in the back and come in that way. Since it said handicap only! But I get to use the handicap voting booth? Cause it's bigger? Electric border control there for the kids? No? Ok.

Yes! Mommy voted. Yes, those 17 I VOTED stickers look fab on you. Thanks for putting one in Peanut's hair. Let's go get Daddy's medication refilled (and Mommy needs to take hers). No you can't walk around the store. We're using the stroller for sure on this one.

No you can't have any of the following:
A Spongbob birthday card
A Halloween witch hangy thing
A $40 wooden airplane
A $4 toy truck with two cows in the back
The economy box of condoms - Mommy got those the other day
The South Beach Diet bars. You don't need a diet. You need a nap.

Oh the meds are ready? Thank God. Off to the evil McDonald's we go. Please tell me you'll fall asleep on the way there or back. Yes? Yes! Yes you can say hi to the guy at the drive thru window. Yes sir, there's a boy saying hi to you, please don't ignore him. You looked right at him. Say hello. H.E.L.L.O. It's not that hard, I promise. Bastard. Yes you can say hi to the next person. See? She's nice, she said hi.

Peanut's asleep, please stop screeching because you didn't get another Flushed person with a clock (compass) on his belly. Ok unbuckle, let's go inside. Now please. NOW!

Please eat. Stop yelling. Eat your nuggets. Stop blowing bubbles in the milk. Stop screeching. Your sister is asleep! SSSHHH!!! Good gravy train! Knock it off. Done? Good. Upstairs, Mommy needs a nap. You can watch BobBob and Gary.

Great. I can't get to sleep. Just FAB. U. LOUS.


Les Becker said…
I'm so glad I just had the one, suddenly.... LOL! You poor Mommy...
oomm said…
You know normally I'm not so much big on the mommy blogs but this was freakin hysterical! I'm having flashbacks.

Popular posts from this blog

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes? 

My house has always been different from other houses. I don't think I could narrow it down to a particular time. I recall not having friends stay over. Ever. I always stayed at all my friends' houses and called their moms "Mom".

Not a lot of my friends were only children so to them, I was the odd duck. Believe me, I *was* the odd duck. Just for a myriad of other reasons.

Having a family of my own, I really see the differences in houses. We are more relaxed with some things that would not fly in other houses. It gets loud in our house. Extremely loud. If I stopped them from being loud all the time, I wouldn't get a single thing done. I tend to jump in right away when the kids are arguing because it can, and will, quickly snowball into WWIII and someone (or both) will be crying. We let our son play the Wii, computer or DS for far longer than other parents or even the "…


Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks.

My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory):
I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were.Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all.Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who died from c…