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Showing posts from January, 2009

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I am but sadly, I'm also an idiot and forgot to ask for the day off tomorrow. Guess what I'm working. 5-930. Convenient yes? I thought so.

So, who are we rooting for? I'm going with the sentimental favorite, at least to me, and cheer on Arizona for the big win. Big win indeed if they can pull it off. Nothing against Big Ben and the Steelers but AZ holds a special place in my heart.

Have fun watching the game folks and fellas, please, let's remember that the coaches, refs, players, camera guys, whoever, can't hear you when you scream at the tv. Of this, I'm pretty sure. Have a drink for me too.

I've Got A Two-Fer For Ya

So, we've all heard aboutthe womanwho hadoctuplets yes? I'm not that good at math, this we all know but! I know that means 8. That's seven more than my uterus has seen at any given time. Eight. Good golly miss molly. She has 6 other kids. Ages 2-7, a set of twins in there. Holy shnikey. There are so many things that jump out here. Let's recap shall we?
14 children seven and under. Hello? Sanity?There's no mention of a husband or significant other. Um ok. That's odd.She declared bankruptcy last year and abandoned her two (2!) houses that she owns owned.She worked at a fertility clinic and was implanted at a fertility clinic - no mention on if it's the same clinic.Why in holy hell would a physician implant that many embryos into a woman who has six (6!) children? One or two, ok. Eight? Um no.The grandfather says that they have a much larger house that no one will be able to locate. Danger Will Robinson, Danger!Said grandfather is also going home to Iraq to mak…

The Almighty Dollar

This boy of ours, he's doing well. He had a great day at school (no complaints/problems for three weeks! Yay medication that works!). He was really good for Grandma when I took the girl and the niece to the dentist (for the girl). When I got home, he was so lovey and good. We hung out, just the two of us, in the kitchen. He was playing his game, I was counting his piggy bank money. The kid has almost $30 in there.

This started us on the journey to learning how to save. He wants a Nintendo DS more than anything in this world right now. (All because the DSapparently has a lot of Mario games that the boy wants? I don't know.) I told him that they cost way more than the $30 he has saved up. He asked if he would have enough by the end of the school year and I said probably not. I did tell him that I would talk to Oma and Papa and see if they would match whatever he saves up and then we'll make up the rest. I saw the look of pure excitement and joy on his face and said to slow d…

Comfort Food Music

You know what always puts me in a good mood (or better if that's the best I can do)? Pretty much any song this man sings. If I want to be taken back to summers in high school or the sailors and other dumb boys I had crushes on back in those days? All I have to do is listen to this, this or this. If I need some perking up, I can listen to this, this or this. I could listen to this and this all the time.

I think he has such a distinctive voice and sound, musically. Every once in awhile I think back to when the husband took me to see them in concert. I still get shivers and am still a little embarrassed that I cried at the concert. A few times. (In my defense, I never went to a concert until I was 18 and living in Germany. That's another story for another day {if I ever remember to tell it}). I hear this music and other groups like them and really, it's like I'm back in the late 80's and I love it. I miss those days.

Really. I do.

So, what music takes you back to old sch…

Healthy As A Horse

That's what this child should be for quite sometime. I mean in theory she shouldn't get sick for years right? I mean she's been exposed to mono, cytomeglovirus, a virus of some sort that had no name, strep and the rotavirus that keeps visiting our house.

We had our every 4 weeks ultrasound today. She's about 15 inches long and weighs about 2 lbs. She also has fluid in the sac that her heart is in. The doctor wouldn't have been concerned if the fluid had been on the bottom of the sac. I think he said something about the sound of the heartbeat bouncing off and making it look like there's fluid. I'm not sure because I was sorta kinda freaking out in my head while trying to maintain composure to everyone else.

We have to go down the Univ hospital tomorrow for an echo on the baby. Two things that strike me about this (well, I'm sure there are waaaay more than two but these will do for now):
I'm so happy that I have this team of doctors that are truly lookin…

Epic Fail

In my sad, sad attempt to blog everyday (I knew I shouldn't have said it out loud or on screen, damn), I have already missed a day. You know what though? It's not a big deal.

Sunday was a rough day for the boy. There are times when you just have to throw in the towel and say Uncle. I know how lucky I am to have my boy. To be his mom. To have him in my life. I wouldn't trade him in for an "average" child any day. He makes me laugh. He makes me think about things from a completely different perspective than a "normal" person. He makes me cry. He drives me nuts with the incessant question about this, that and anything and everything.

Sunday was an Uncle day. He was so sick with that damn rotovirus that he would throw up his medication. There is no generic for one of his meds and of course, that's the one he would toss back up (not his fault). We made the decision that while he was sick, he wouldn't take that medicine. I don't know about ya'll…

Dear Boy Of Mine

I'm sorry that you have difficulties. I'm so sorry that people look at you and think the worst. That they think you're a brat. They think you're being difficult. Troublemaker. Obnoxious.

They don't know you. They don't know the sweet looking little boy that's growing up entirely too fast. Right before my eyes. They don't know how kind you are.

I'm sorry that I lose it sometimes. I'm sorry that I yell at you. I'm sorry that I'm not more patient with you. I'm sorry that I don't take into account sometimes how hard this is for you. That you can't control what's going on in your head. You can't control your emotions.

It's not your fault that you have Aspergers. It's not your fault that people don't understand it. That people don't want to understand it.

I want you to know that I will always love you. No matter what. I know when you are saying mean things that you don't mean them. At least not now, maybe wh…

Staying Ahead Of The Game

That's what my husband pretty much said when I wondered out loud how much larger I was going to get.

He's of the thinking that the belly is there going "Welp, we know how big we have to get, might as well just get there already". Doesn't really make one feel less of a beached whale though ya know? Especially since I had just eaten a burger, fries and corndog bites. Yummy. It's ok though, he made me laugh.

There must have been a memo put out to say things that make me laugh.

My son told me today, all serious and softly, that he had a rainbow in his pocket just for me. Oh and he's going to love me in my heart for 10, 450 thousand hundred days.

My niece was undressing her harem of princesses the other night. When asked why, she replied that she was checking to see if they had nipples*. Ok then. Carry on.

I have not peed myself but I feel as though it could happen any day with these yayhoos around. I'll let ya know if I do. You knew that though.

*they don't

Sometimes You Just Have To Wonder

The Boy: Look! A McDonald's!
Mama: Yep, we'll go there in a bit after we get Daddy from work.
The Boy: It looks rather beat up.
Mama: What?
The Boy: It looks rather beat up!
Mama: :::blink blink::: um ok
The Boy: Look at the roof! It's missing a big piece.

Part of the roof was, indeed, missing a piece however it was a decorative piece, not a vital, structural one. Whew.

While he was talking to some of Daddy's coworkers, he was waxing poetic on his lost teeth.

Co-Worker: Where did your tooth go?
The Boy: Well....I lost the first toose* when eating an Oreo. The other toose? It was an abscessed toose, it was sick and they had to take it.

And finally, we were in Playland (right up there on the list of evil places) and he asked if I had a headick**. I must have been rubbing my temple and I know I commented to the husband that Oh. My. God. Does that mother not hear her son screaming for Jackson? Cause I can hear it. I'm pretty sure Jackson can hear it (even though the little shit …

Welcome To UPCF!

My niece, Baby Girl, got a set of princesses* from her daddy for her birthday this week. She decided she wants to keep them at our house (she stays here during the week). I asked her if she was sure and she said yes because she didn't want the doggies to slobber on or chew up the dollies at home. Well, ok then. Can't argue that logic.

She was sitting next to Daddy on the couch sharing toots with my son (dudes, it's been a toot lovefest 'round these parts today - CAH RAY ZEE!). They were playing with the dolls, making up stories when apparently one of the princesses got all out of control and Baby Girl had to lay the smack down.

After trying to ignore the brutality of it all (and before a head was lost) we cut short tonight's episode of Ultimate Princess Championship Fighting.

I'm pretty sure Baby Girl and Aurora** won over Monkey Boy and Mulan but it was a damn close match fo sho.

*My brother in law learned that Mulan doesn't have a crown like the other chicks …

I Only Miss Parts Of It

High school.


I miss little parts of it. Some of the friends I had. Some of the boys I liked. A couple teachers. Mostly I didn't like it but I can live with that. In hindsight? Not as bad as I thought it was. I'm still friends with a couple people from my old high school in Chicago but for the most part, I don't know what's up with anyone.

Well, until now that is. Thank you Facebook. Facebook that's free., that charges a yearly fee for pretty much the same service, doesn't give me what Facebook does.

I've "found" several people that I went to school with and holy shit, have some of them changed so much. I almost didn't recognize a couple of them. Some are pretty much the same, not a bad thing really.

It used to be I had mainly kids that I work with on there. Now? I have quite the spread of friends. I feel weird calling them all friends though. I saw somewhere, like at an amusement park or county fair, in one of those astrology …

All Sorts Of Too Much Information Going On Here, Sorry

Things were looking up around here. We thought the front door/back door issues were under control. Sadly, we were mistaken. The boy has had issues in the backend for 4 days now. I'm so worried about dehydration. Pedialyte popsicles, here we come. The girl? She had both ends going. Gah! My father in law is sorta kinda feeling better. I'm sorta kinda gettin' there. The husband is doing ok he says (whew) and my mother in law says she feels queasy but it's probably 'cause of the ish factor in the house right now. Amen to that. Ever have the kind of gas that doesn't stink or make noise? The kind that you almost sigh in relief when it's released because oh. my. god. all of that was in my body and I didn't explode? I did and it was glorious. I don't mind when people I know, people I like, tell me that I'm getting so big. When a jerk off customer says it after being a douche to me? Cause he realizes I'm pregnant and maybe he shouldn't have been …

Oh Spike, VH-1 And Hallmark

How you entertain me. Thanks for the first season marathon of CSI. I forgot what a dick Brass was to Warrick in the beginning. And Grissom? Better with the facial hair thank you very much.

Real and Chance. You make me laugh so much. Thanks for bringing those crazy ass women to my little screen. It was a train wreck that I enjoyed immensely.

Hallmark, thanks for the cheesiness that was Nanny Express. Even though we knew how it would end, my mother in law and I still cried. Harry Dean Stanton still looks good for his age.

See what you resort to watching when you're sick?

But watching my six year old boy take a bucket with him everywhere he went in the house was so stinking cute.

Poster Child Of Health I Am Not

This child of mine that's baking? She better be the picture of health for the first five years of her life. So far, while she's been baking, I've had mono, cmv, a virus, a broken toe, strep and now, another virus. Really? This sucks.

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow so that I can give ya'll a post with more depth because the only depth I have right now is how deep my lunch was before it made another appearance.

A Welcome Break In The Cleaning Mode

I just cleaned my desk and the table next to it. And by cleaned, I mean things are in nice little piles now. I have so much filing to do. A few thank you cards to get out. Some bills to pay. Yet what am I doing?

I'm reading this fabulous blog where this awesome news is announced.

Go out and pick up the latest issue of People magazine. They did a 4 page layout on this wonderful father and his precious daughter.

I know that single dads are out there doing a great job raising their kid(s) by themselves. Well, most of them at least. There's something about Matt. I urge all of you to read about his wife, his daughter and their lives. If he doesn't serve as an inspiration, then I don't know what would.

Check out the foundation, his blog and the new issue of People (it's on page 108)

Thanks =0)

They Did What?

The children got along today. All day. Got along. No kicking each other. No screaming at each other. No timeouts.

Who are these children? Can I keep them?

Usually there's a lot of the boy teasing the girl, then baby girl gets bossed around by the girl, then baby girl gets bossy back and yeah, it's downhill from there. The only tears, most times, are from the dictator but she's the drama queen. I think we'd be shocked if she didn't toss a fit.

The Concerta is still keeping the boy up until, well 11 since he's up right now. He's taken to playing on Daddy's laptop in Daddy's bed until he gets super tired. I've decided to just go with it. He hasn't been tired in the morning or during school. I let him sleep as late as he wants on the weekend. Perhaps he'll go to bed at a normal time somewhere in the future but for now, we're ok with this plan.

Plus? He is so super excited about going back to school tomorrow. Lord please let this be his "…

You Want The Cold? You Couldn't Handle This Cold!

I don't know, that was a pretty pathetic Jack Nicholson impression. Listen people, I love all 6 of my readers. You guys rock. I like hanging with the ones I know in real life and I know I would have so much fun with the ones I haven't met yet. That being said......

I don't want to hear any complaints about it being cold. Unless you're suffering the same fate as me, just shush.

It's -19 degrees outside. Without the wind chill factored in.


That's mother effin' cold. That's so cold that my son's school is closed tomorrow. That's so cold that most of the schools in this area are either closed or on a two hour delay. Two hour delay? WTH? Just close.

Oh and the new air freshener? Still working. It really seeped into the pores of my van. This cold helping it stick around so yeah, thanks again asshat.

Oh oh bonus round prize for the day...............a cute little 3.90 yr old redheaded dictator throwing up and screaming loudly with each hurl. Awesome!

I Know Gas Is Under $2/Gallon But Still

Dear Gas Guzzling, Smelly Air Distributing Truck Owner,

I'll go ahead and thank you right away for giving my van a new air freshener. It really did give the vehicle a whole new smell. Unfortunately, diesel is not and has never been my number one choice of aromas. It's true. Do tell, how did you manage to get the smell to waft so freely all around? Powerful stuff I tell ya as having both windows down, going 35 mph when it's -8 degrees outside did nothing to dilute it. Kudos.

I also wonder, is it nice to be able to afford letting your monster truck run for more than
15 minutes? That's how long it took me to load my groceries and walk to the pizza place to get some dinner. I do also want to tell you how I appreciated you parking thisclose to the passenger side of the van. I'm so glad you knew I didn't have one of the many children clinging to my leg as they try in vain to climb out without covering their coat in the slush and grime of the vehicle next us.

The ba…

Back In The Day

I can't imagine my life without my children in it. I think back to when I was not married, not in a serious relationship and I find it hard to pinpoint a time where I was really happy with my life like I am now. I know my life didn't suck. I went out to the bars every Mon to Sat for over a year. I had a great group of friends, always someone to go out with. I knew how to have fun. I had my moments of recklessness abandonment. Moments that I, as a parent now, cringe at.
The husband and I have talked about what we would say to our kids when they get to the rebellious teenage years. When they start asking questions like "Well I bet you did stupid stuff huh?" Hello? Have you met your parents? Your mother? The epitome of stupid stuff achievement? The husband has it easy, he was, and still is, a good guy (yay me!). He liked to get his drink on with his friends and whatnot, still does sometimes, but I don't think he would be embarrassed to tell the kids anything that he…

10 x 10 - Finito

Ten Places I've Lived/Been To

Tucson, AZ - How I miss the warm hot hot hot weather. It's true what they say, it's a dry heat and I'll take that over god awful humidity any day.Ventura, CA - One glorious summer in the 80s. Had a chance to see Vinnie Vincent Invasion whilst living there. I was 14, he was 17 and unfortunately, I was afraid of being squished in a mosh pit. At a Vinnie Vincent Invasion concert.Iowa - many many summers were spent with Gramma in her podunk small town. One stoplight that blinks at 9pm. Got married there. Good times for the city folk, that's for sure.Munich, Germany - I graced the world with my presence in good ol' Munich. Yes, my mother gave me beer in my bottle. No lie.Great Lakes, IL - Military brats, unite. The Hague, Netherlands - Pot cafes, red light district, lots of PDA from passersby. Interesting day trip.Charleston, SC - Met my best friend when I was three. We're still very close to this day. We talk a couple times a year, …

10 x 10 Part Deux

Shocker! I'm following up on a post!

Ten Of My Favorite Bloggers*

Sarah - My wishes of having twins are lived vicariously through herDooce - Because she's DooceMomo - I am fairly certain that her son and my son would be great friendsRee - She makes want to live on a ranch. Sometimes.Danny - Rage Against The MeshugenahMatthew - The letters to his twins are the best!Matt and Madeline - An awesome dad from my neck of the woodsAlice - I want to meet Henry. And Alice too =0)Kevin - I'm assuming this is his name haha but still, one funny guyRebecca - She says the things some of us moms are afraid to say. Out loud.Ok that's all I have for right now because the husband is waiting for me to decide what we're doing for date night. Since I won't be blitzed when I get home, I'll finish the other four if I'm not asleep. Ha!*Spellcheck wants to me call bloggers floggers. Um, no, I don't think so.

My Poor Husband

I'm sure he's wondering who the hell this bitch is that took over his wife's body because holy hell, am I in full on bitch mode. Not at him mind you. Just at life.

So the boy is on the new med, Concerta. We decided to up the Melatonin to half a tablet instead of a quarter because the Concerta has him all jacked up until after 10pm. Yeah, I can't have that.

Holy shit it took me, literally, a full two minutes to type that sentence. It's like I have forgotten how to use my goddamn fingers. WTF? Now I'm crying.

Someone who has had at least three kids, please tell me that this is normal. That all thrice preggo women go through this. I know it's most likely the stress of the boy and trying new things to control his outbursts and shit but holy hell. I would punch myself in the face if I ran into myself.

How the hell am I going to handle three of them?? I'm gonna eff them up aren't I? I can't keep my emotions bottled up, shit, that'll kill me. I'd c…

10x10 Though I May Need To Remeasure

I've seen this on several blogs and I figured I would tweak it to suit my family and life because, well, because I'm bored and don't want to organize the kids' room. Apparently my nesting is taking a break. Part one of two is below (I don't need to put ya'll to sleep with a super long ass post - this I know)

Ten Things I Plan To Do In 2009
Have a healthy baby girlVisit my friends in LaCrosse more than twiceGo on a vacation sans children with my husbandRespond to emails and blog comments Organize my "office" spaceKeep said space in some sense of orderStart my photography businessGo to a Timberwolves gameGet my secondborn's scrapbook of her first year done (before the third one's)Blog everyday (I can't believe I put that out there, now I'll fail. Gah!)Ten Places That I Want To VisitNew Zealand - long standing dreamDisneyworld - with the kids when the youngest is like 7Norway - family heritageLas Vegas - see vacation sans children aboveFij…

She Was Licking The Furniture Before These Were Taken

A Favor For Mama

Dearest Little One Who's Still Baking,

Please limit your gymnastics routine to ten minutes. Get it all out now, you're running out of room at a rather fast pace. Stay off of the bladder. In fact stay far far away from the bladder. Thanks sweetie.

Love you much,

He's My Go To Guy From Now On

The boy had an appt today with his behaviour specialist doctor person. I forgot about asking for the day off. Whoops. Good thing Daddy was going to the appt too. I picked the boy up from school and dropped him off at Daddy's work. I think this is the way it should go from now on with these particular appts. Here's my theory:

I haven't been all that impressed with the center that he goes to for his evals and appts. He's been seen 3 times in 15 months and has been on two meds in the last 3 months. I've called them asking for actual phone numbers and names of people that can help us. Resources, programs, assistance. I got all of zero people to call me back. My mama bear comes out with my son. Sure, a lot of the time I feel like a failure to him as a mom but that's largely in part to us feeling overwhelmed. (When he was diagnosed in Nov of 07 with Aspergers*, there were a couple suggestions but nothing tangible that we could come home and say ok, let's do this. …

And This Is My Boy

My precious boy looks like him (minus a couple teeth) but was doing this for the last few days.

This Is My Girl

This is how my Peanut is all the time. But especially when Mama is laying on the kitchen floor, taking pictures and gets stuck. The baby belly makes it hard to be graceful anymore. (Oh who am I kidding? The doc is pretty sure I broke my toe last week when I fell in the kitchen. The same toe I broke in Spring of '08. Yes, Grace is not my middle name.) Peanut wanted to climb on my legs and have me hoist her in the air, jostling her all over. A feat that is easy to do when a) you're on carpeting, b) not pregnant and c) not holding a super expensive camera that if dropped, could send Mama into therapy for at least a year. Anyway, we had fun.

My Dearest Customers

Just a couple of reminders my dear, sweet, valuable customers:

Being able to read is nothing to be ashamed of. Show off that skill. Knowing that a piece of paper that says "this is not a redeemable coupon" and knowing what to do with it (or not do with it) is a good thing. Go with it. Take it home with you. Roll some Mary Jane in it. I don't care. Stop trying to get $3 from me.Throwing your money, crumpled up and moist from, gah, who knows where? That won't help you get out of my store faster. Be happy I didn't throw on latex gloves and keep your ass there longer. In the same respect, tossing your credit card at me won't get you out faster either. I'll just, oh so nicely, remind you that you can swipe it right there (that pretty black box facing you). I won't tell you the magnetic strip goes down. I'm hopeful you can figure that one out on your own. Oops, guess not.I'm sorry that the chips you purchased tasted like crap. I could have told you t…

Welcome 2009

Goodbye 2008....

You can keep all the bad things you brought to us. We'll take only the good now, thank you.

You can also keep the puke and diarrhea my son shared with us as the new year rolled in. That was great. No, really, you keep it. It's ok.

Just wanted to drop you that note. I'm going back to my Bourne trilogy evening with my husband.

Hello 2009....

Don't be 2008

The Broad