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I Know Gas Is Under $2/Gallon But Still

Dear Gas Guzzling, Smelly Air Distributing Truck Owner,

I'll go ahead and thank you right away for giving my van a new air freshener. It really did give the vehicle a whole new smell. Unfortunately, diesel is not and has never been my number one choice of aromas. It's true. Do tell, how did you manage to get the smell to waft so freely all around? Powerful stuff I tell ya as having both windows down, going 35 mph when it's -8 degrees outside did nothing to dilute it. Kudos.

I also wonder, is it nice to be able to afford letting your monster truck run for more than
15 minutes? That's how long it took me to load my groceries and walk to the pizza place to get some dinner. I do also want to tell you how I appreciated you parking thisclose to the passenger side of the van. I'm so glad you knew I didn't have one of the many children clinging to my leg as they try in vain to climb out without covering their coat in the slush and grime of the vehicle next us.

The baby that's baking is especially thankful. She showed just how much by kicking me in my actual stomach the whole way home. Please, allow me to show you just how much she liked it. What? You don't want to experience that? Come now. Man up. You do drive a truck that screams "Midlife Crisis here!" or "I'm A Douchebag! Yes! Me!" I think it's the latter. Was that out loud? So sorry, those damn voices.

So again, thank you so much. I kind of miss the high I got from the fumes but I'm sure you or one of your cronies will park next to me soon enough. Remind me to extend the baking babe's thanks.

Yours in woozy land,
The Mama

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