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Showing posts from March, 2009

Some Good News Makes The Bad News Less Painful

First the good news: Willow and Wesley had a baby. Interesting name, I kinda like it. I hope mama doesn't resent having her on her birthday. I was born the day before my mother's birthday and let's just say, birthdays were not fun for me. That's if I can recall even celebrating one before I moved out. Hmm, good times.

And the bad: No more karaoke from Lorne. I want to go out and buy the rest of Angel on DVD just to see the episodes with him in them for the husband to complete his set. That character really made the show so much fun. Mr. Hallett will be missed by those of us who admired him and his work so much.

Um Yeah

So I have a fetal MRI tomorrow and then I'm going in to see my OB. I left work early tonight with some tightening in the belly and some pain that I can't describe. I honestly don't know what the contractions would feel like at the beginning. I was induced and had drugs. This all feels funky to me.

I'll keep ya'll updated.

Act Two

The niece, once again, has slayed me with her wit and how quick on the draw she is.

Baby Girl: The snake is eating his own tail

Me: Um why is he doing that?

Baby Girl: (again with the duh voice the girls have mastered) It tastes like chicken!

Me: (trying to recover from the laughing and almost peeing myself)

Baby Girl: Is this going on your blog too?

End Act Two

I Have No Shame

Once again, I've proven that I'm shameless. You're shocked, I know.

The evil Girl Scouts were back at my store today. Gah. There's crack in them there cookies, I just know it. They were only there until eight and I worked until ten so I told them I would be back before they left. I almost forgot and two of the girls actually came looking for me. They hunted me down. I was an easy target. A caged animal.

I bought nine boxes of cookies.

Hey, don't judge me. Only 3 of them are exclusively mine. Mine = a box in the car, a box by the computer and a box in my locker. Just in case.

Good thing I don't work Sunday. There's another troop coming in.

Evilness I tell you. Pure and simple.

DNA Testing Not Needed

Dearest 6yr Old Boy Of Mine,

I know you come by it honestly. Really. I know I talk a lot. And I realize that's an understatement of damn near biblicalepic proportions. I get that from Papa. He gets that from Gramma Lulu. So on and so forth (back forth?) I am also aware that mostly it's the Aspergers, the ODD, the other crap that came with your AD diagnosis. That being said.....



Holy hell child, please stop talking so much when it's time to go to bed. I know people will get on my case saying that's what kids do, they procrastinate, they do all in their powers to derail that nighttime train of zzzz's. Seriously though? These people have never spent an hour with you trying to get you to just lay down. Just. lay. down. already. I know you have "big news" as you put it and I'm so happy that you want to share that news with Daddy and I. It's just that, well, we've heard the same "big news" all evening and well into this ritual that we go thr…

I Don't Even Watch NCAA Basketball

So what the hell am I doing "competing" with my very own bracket*? I ask myself that every time I slip further in the standings. That's what I get for going with my heart and having Minnesota go a little far this year. Like, oh I don't know, PAST THE FIRST ROUND MAYBE???

I had picks in each region that tugged at my heartstrings for various reasons. So far, two of them are doing ok: Gonzaga (come on, who doesn't like that name?) and the Wildcats from the UofA. Good Lord do I miss Tucson. The other two? Bummers man. The Gophers totally blew it and believe me, I had to talk the husband off the ledge there. Marquette let me down too but at least they made it to the second round.

Right now, I'm placing 23rd out of 31 people. I'm the only one to pick Kansas to go all the way. I'm either a genius or I've discovered yet one more thing to blame on the baby brain disease. Time will tell.

*a few years ago, I won a fantasy hockey league thingie by picking the gu…

He Makes Me Proud. And Nervous.

So my son, my six year old, funny, sweet looking, sincere boy has done something that boggles my mind. Shocking, I know but roll with it.

He has beaten Super Mario 64 on the Wii. We downloaded the game for him 19 days ago.

He's beaten. the. game.

I don't know if I should be more proud or nervous about this. Silly, I know but look, this kid does his research. No lie. He goes on YouTube*, types in Super Mario 64 and finds all these videos of other people playing. He watches them intently, memorizing every screen shot. He retains all of that information and uses when he plays the game himself.

When he started playing Super Mario 3 on the Wii, he found a warp whistle that I never knew existed in the 20 years that game has been out. My friends and I would play that game for hours on end in high school. This boy of mine goes online, watches some videos and poof! he knows where all this extra stuff is. Extra stuff that would have saved my friends and I a lot of grief in our hours wasted …

It's Been Awhile

I was planning on posting belly photos every month. Heck, I thought for sure I would at least take the photos even if I didn't post them. Yeah, um, whoops. Here are my 8mo ones. Just took them tonight on the cell phone.




At 29 weeks and also at 33 weeks

Can One Overdose On Carbs?

I'm pretty sure one can. Here's what I've had to eat today:

2 eggs and 4 pieces of bread

a double cheeseburger and fries from Burger King

the equivilant of 4 small bowls of popcorn

an asian beetle

a whole pint of Dulce de Leche w/Caramel ice cream

Yeah, I don't feel so good and I have to get up at 7 for work. Blah.

They See Me Coming And See Dollar Signs I'm Sure

I'm an impulsive buyer. I own that title. I embrace it at times. We got rid of the old tube TVs a couple weeks ago that we had up in the kids' room. They didn't work all that great and we needed the room because of the pack n play and the bassinet. A friend of mine pointed me towards a recycling center in our area that I never knew about and poof! old TVs begone. Yay merrily.

I looked online at a couple places and decided I needed a new TV tonight. I don't know why I came to that conclusion. You know what I mean. I have my reasons that I discussed with the husband: I wake up with leg cramps at 2 am and can't get back to sleep for a couple hours. Sometimes I just want to lay down and watch a movie that isn't Disney made. When the baby gets here it would be nice to have something to distract me whilst feeding said child at 12, 2, 4 and 6 am. I just wanted a TV in there.

I walked into the big name store and made a bee line for the home theatre dept and I just know t…

I Give

Hey life? You win. I lose.

How much shit can you throw at me? I don't even want to know an exact amount. I think I have a good idea. And I'm not that good at math.

I'm at a stress level point right now where every little thing that irks me is starting to piss me off. Instead of talking it out, I cry. I don't like crying. Once in awhile is ok but this is ridiculous.

I feel like I can't even vent on here. I think I need to go back to therapy. At least then I have someone who will call me out on my bullshit yet won't judge me.

I'm terrified that this is how I am now, before the baby gets here, before we know what* (if anything) is wrong with her. I don't want to know how or who I'll be after she gets here. Sweet Baby Jesus, please lead me in the right direction.

*I don't even know that I can write a post about today's ultrasound and several phone calls with the specialists afterwards. I don't think I have that in my emotional capacity right now.

Too Many Letters. May Have Writer's Cramp

Dear Guy Who Yelled At His Son Every Time They Were In Together,

Nice denial and poker face when I tried to give you your kid's number. He's only been looking for you for half a year. Good parenting call there.

I am so staying out of this one,
Your cashier


Dear Bitch Who Smells Like An Herbal Essence Factory Exploded In Her Car 2 Minutes Ago,

Seriously? You stink. I may puke. Also, you're mean to strangers. That lady did nothing to you. Karma is a bitch too. She's just more effective. Good luck with that one.

Just an FYI,
The very pregnant one

Dear Still Drunk From St. Patty's Day Parties Down At The U Customer,

Dude. You stink worse than the fruity lady. Shower please. And the twitch for you fix? Yeah, you're not so good at hiding it. Nice try though.

I need a clothespin, a bucket and some Febreeze,
Your still very pregnant cashier

Dear Lady Who Likes To Point Out My Large Pregnancy Every Single Time You See Me Which Is Every Other Day,

I get it. I'm the size of a …

Thanks Vicky, Thanks A Lot

Nothing like coming home after a long night at work, feeling like an elephant and finding the Spring edition of the Victoria's Secret catalogue in my mailbox.

Um yeah.

Thanks but I know the secret. I won't fit into anything on any page until 2010. Good job.

Oh and I won't see any of those bodies in the mirror ever.

I Ain't Heavy, I'm Your Brother. Or Some Crap Like That

So now that the scale at the baby baking doctor's office is creeping near the "holy shit I am not hitting that!" mark, naturally my cravings are kicking in. I've told ya'll about the cake thing. The horrible, no good, very delicious and yummy cake thing. I bought a bavarian cream cake at work the other night. It was the best nine bucks I ever spent. I ate half of it on one break. True story.

Now it's Subway. I just hit the one by our house and there were ten minutes to spare. Whew. I ate the whole thing in ten minutes. Maybe twelve.

Dammit. Now I will hit that mark.

Throw Them All Together And This Is What You Get

Telling a silly story to auntie

Hello people???

Watching the boy intently playing his game



The Lloyd look is gone now. Let us all thank Baby Jesus.

Gimme Some Love

With her uncle, The Captain
With her mama, Fluffy

With her uncle, Pedro



Who can resist?

Who Wants To Go Bowling?

The girls were stoked to go bowling.

Baby Girl was off to a great start. Spared in the first. I called her as the winner before it started.

The Peanut was there just to have fun. Always thought it was her turn. Bless her bowlin' lovin' heart.


Of course who would win? The one who could care less. Ahh, to be young and carefree again.



This was more his style. Lounging in front of the poker machine. Makes his mama proud ya know?



Someone Had A Birthday Last Month A Few Days Ago

The Boy's Turn

It's not a haircut, it's a trim he says. Hello Lloyd

So skinny




He's growing up, not out

Very serious in the bathtub
Again, you can laugh. We still are. Even the boy is.

I Could Do This All Day People. All Day.

Oh no, here we go again


What's that you say?

I'm trying to get my point across here people!


Eeeeeeeee!!



Go on. Laugh. It's ok. We still are.




Well She Is My Daughter

Me: Hey Peanut, wanna go shopping with me?
Peanut: (jumping up and down hysterically) YES!YES!YES! I LOVE SHOPPING!
Me: um ok
Peanut: Wait. Where are we shopping? Are we shopping at Target? Can we eat lunch there? Can I get a toy? I would really like to eat there. We can't eat Target can we? That would be silly! I so totally want to eat lunch there. Remember yesterday last week when I was screaming in the nice Target that I wanted a doll and you told me no I couldn't get one? Remember that Mama?
Me: :::blinking:::
Peanut: Well I won't do that again, I promise.

I need to go back to sleep and recover from that conversation.

They Have Returned

So the inlaws are home. Mom said they would be home early in the afternoon. They rolled in at 12:03. I guess they weren't kidding. They had a great time, a quiet time, on vacation. They were glad to be back home though. The kids bombarded them the second they walked in the door and declared just how much they missed them. You would have thought we were starving them and taping them to the beds. (that only happened once)(I kid, I kid)(maybe)

They liked the work that was done on the living room so that made me feel better. There's still some tweaking to be done but the big stuff is over. Well, except for the treadmill going downstairs but I still have to rid us of the sectional couch. Anyone in the Twin Cities area who wants a sectional couch, it's yours. For free. You just have to come get it. It's about 25 years old. The sleeper pullout part is not sleepworthy when, well, pulled out. (well that didn't sound dirty or anything right?) It's a comfy couch, we just n…

Packrat? You Have A Call On Line One. Packrat, Line One.

I haven't been to work since Saturday and I have to tell you, even though I'm just a cashier, I could tell by the end of the night that it had been awhile. My arms were killing me. My hip was popping out, totally normal when I'm pregnant. I was glad to get home. Tomorrow I just may die while working since it's a full day shift. Well that and I don't anticipate going to bed anytime soon.

The living room looks as good as it's going to get for now. I have a lot of clean clothes that I need to bring upstairs but otherwise, I think Dad will be happy with how it turned out. My bedroom though? It sets of panic attacks when I go in there. There's so much.....crap. Yes that's the word. Well shit is the word but I was trying to avoid swearing. Oh hell. The extra mattress is on the bed and now I feel like the Princess and the Pea and I could very well need a step stool to get in and out of bed. Fun.

The Peanut is sick. She just finished her croup medication today. S…

Down To One Day

Sometimes, I look at this living room and ask myself just what the hell have you accomplished this week? Of course my back shoves it's two cents in and and not so gently reminds me that HELLO? You only sorted through 20+ boxes, moved a couch, a chair, more boxes and made many, many, many trips up and down all the stairs in this house. Bite me StairMaster, I don't need you.

The brothers in law (brother in laws? BILs? BsIL? Gah!) were a huge help tonight moving the exercise bike and elliptical machine downstairs and moving the comfy chair up to the former's former home. Well, that last sentence confused the shit out of me. You? Ok. Moving on.

The in law 'rental units come home Sat afternoon. You know what that makes tomorrow right? Aww yeah! Cleaning up day! WOOHOO! Swiffers will be used liberally. Washing machines will be going. Dryers? You won't be left out. Oh and sweet vacuum? Have no fear. I will use you so much that you'll need a vacation.

I can't wait to …

There Goes My Free Day In March

Well, that didn't take long. Used up my self imposed "You can only miss blogging one day per month all year" freebie.

I took the day off because it was Square Root Day and I'm nerdy like that.

Bwahahaha....I almost typed that with a straight face. I can barely add up the cookie dough order to make sure all the money is there. Psh.

I've been busting my ass this week organizing and cleaning around here. I hope I get the living room done before mom and dad get home because dudes, I so need to work on the bedroom. I have every article of clothing the kids and I own thrown on the bed. The sleep number setup is laying on the bed waiting to be installed (is that sort of thing installed? I don't know). I'll need a place to sleep eventually. The exercise equipment is still in there and oh. my. dee-oh-double-gee. T minus 64 hours (give or take) until the inlaw parental units are home. I still have so much to do.

Well shit. There goes that nap.

Am I Awake Now Or No?

I think I'm awake. I'm not sure. All I know is that I've got one active, lumpy bumpy baby baking in the belly. I also know that in last two days (in no particular order):


I've gone through 6 ginormous totes of toys. Not shocking? I managed to rid us of only 1/2 of one tote. This job takes a few hours to do when you have a 4 yr old taking toys out of here and there and developing a hearing disability every time you ask her to stop.I've loaded about 12 boxes into the van to take to the storage place. Oh those captain's chairs in the van? Yeah those had to come out.Vacuuming the whole van was fun where fun = awkward movements trying not to fall over onto the baby belly while crawling all over the van floor. Aaaand the seats had to go back in. Not as easy as the coming out part. There was a lot of fun had at the Chunky Monkey's party. Happy Birthday Mildred*!The noises that my dictator made in the van on the way home from storage was so much fun to deal with. No…

If Sleep Is For The Weak, I Must Be Effin' She-Ra

This whole not being able to sleep? The baby doing jumping jacks at 3am? Not so much fun. Insomnia? It blows. Going to sleep at 430am then waking up at 730am? Blows more.

There's nothing like being woken up to the sweet gentle sound of your 6yr old screaming bloody murder for his daddy to wake up. Then, if you look over, you'll see your 4yr old dictator cutting random pieces of paper all over the floor with scissors that you haven't seen since you hid them in the super secret hiding spot that was so superbly secret that you forgot where that spot was six months ago when you hid the damn thing.

This of course is after you came home last night from working a full 8 hour shift and you see that said 4yr old has dumped out all of your sample shampoos, conditioners, hairsprays and lotions. Let's just say that combination of smells, in one small area? Worse than any morning sickness I've had. Ish. At least she did the disposing in a paper bag filled with papers for burning.…