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DNA Testing Not Needed

Dearest 6yr Old Boy Of Mine,

I know you come by it honestly. Really. I know I talk a lot. And I realize that's an understatement of damn near biblical epic proportions. I get that from Papa. He gets that from Gramma Lulu. So on and so forth (back forth?) I am also aware that mostly it's the Aspergers, the ODD, the other crap that came with your AD diagnosis. That being said.....



Holy hell child, please stop talking so much when it's time to go to bed. I know people will get on my case saying that's what kids do, they procrastinate, they do all in their powers to derail that nighttime train of zzzz's. Seriously though? These people have never spent an hour with you trying to get you to just lay down. Just. lay. down. already. I know you have "big news" as you put it and I'm so happy that you want to share that news with Daddy and I. It's just that, well, we've heard the same "big news" all evening and well into this ritual that we go through. Can I tell everyone that your big news is that "the words on the computer that are red that look like blood they look like blood because they are red"? No? Oh. Ahem, sorry.

Mama tells herself every night that it's not you really, it's the anxiety. The Aspergers. The medication not quite doing what Mama and Daddy you would like it to do which is help you sleep. I'm not gonna lie to you, I may have to start slipping you Melatonin mickeys. I know you don't like to take that medication anymore because it melts too fast in your spoonful of chocolate milk. Because of you not liking it anymore? I request that you forget I just told you I was going to sneak it in. Thanks Buddy.

You know Mama and Daddy love you so much. I tell it to you so many times all day and night that I see you getting frustrated and Oh. My. Gosh. Is she saying it to me again??? GAH! But I do love you boy. With such intensity that it scares the shit out of me sometimes. You make me step back, calm down, think things through and not lose my head too quickly.



I love you because you are you. You tell it like it is. You tell me when you are angry at me, even though you choose phrases that are not acceptable. You randomly give me such strong bear hugs out of nowhere that I have to catch my breath when you walk away. You feel my sadness when I'm crying or when I'm depressed. Somehow you know when Mama's heading down that road.

I love you for loving me. As I am, as this person, as your Mama.

I love you for you. As you are, as my son.







Now shut up and go to sleep already!










With love, always and forever and ten sousand hundred days (as you would say),



Mama
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