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Showing posts from May, 2006

Get Your Vote On!

So Paige has a poll up now for Shittiest Tape Mix. Check it out and since I have no shame:


Vote For Me Please! I thinkI have some solid choices*. I could have made approx 14 of these tapes with the collection o' crap that I own. If I were to bust out my actual mix tapes from the late 80's? Oh I don't think people could handle that. I have several (read: a dozen) tapes of just "heavy" metal love songs. Oh yes, winners I tell ya. Jackpot! So please, go vote for me. Thanks! *Sarah could nail it what with the Jordy selection. Damn.

Is This What Hell Feels Like?

I think so. It's about, oh, 96 degrees and very humid. Ish. I broke down yesterday and got something like this for this kids where I work. We're getting this at some point but with no a/c in the house and said humidity, we needed to do something. Target was out of all the pools under $449.00. Bastards.

Filled it up yesterday and the kids wanted to go in it right away. Well, they learned just how freaking cold the water out of the hose is. They still played and helped me get these snapshots:


He's not going to eat her. I promise.


This was after swimming but clearly we needed more swimming.


Peanut just chillin'. Literally.

I out the rest of them up on Flickr so enjoy. I, however, will be making room in the freezer for me to sit in it.

New Year*, New Day, New Job, New Adventures

So I have orientation today at the new job. Three hours of videos to watch and paperwork that I could fill out blindfolded since I've done this so many times before. Ok that made me sound like I can't hold a job. Not so. I just like to live in different places. A lot. I stay with my job until I move which at one point was, on average, every two years. I don't like moving now that there are two little urchins and all their crap involved. Hopefully I'll stay awake. I had to take pain killers this morning, it was hurting so much. I'm thinking I should be done with the buzz by the time I have to leave.

One of the husband's friends is coming over tonight and I can't wait to see him. Rich was a groomsman in our wedding and he is just a great guy. I wanted to hook him up with my best friend Donna but 1. she's in S. Carolina and 2. she just got married in Oct. Oh well. So Rich is coming over and we're gonna test drive the new gas grill. Should be fun.

Not muc…

Monkey Boy Sees

Apparantly this is Mommy....







....and this is Daddy Let it be known that Daddy has no hair in real life. He does have that look though when Monkey Boy is naughty.

Is It Wrong...

.....that I left Peanut sleeping in the highchair for 15-20 minutes while cleaning the kitchen?

....that after Monkey Boy and his cousin ate their pizza (and a lot of it) that I let them finish a half a bag of gummie bears?

....that I let him watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl over and over again just for some silence in the house?

....that I want to sell every last toy that makes noise in this house?

...that I am so excited about this and when I think of who could be in there I get giddy and yappy about all the possibilities? It's sad.

....that I didn't do anything when Naya kicked Monkey Boy in the face for yanking on her foot?

That's all I've got.

I'm One Of Them

I'm one of thosemoms. I will be the first to say she was an idiot for having him on her lap. Seeing him in the car seat really irked me and made me cringe. No one is a perfect mom. Far be from me to even think that I'm a 10 on the mothering scale. We all make mistakes. Naturally, she's going to be under a much bigger microscope than me but come on. I have fallen on ice with my son in my arms whilst incubating the Peanut. I've fallen down stairs with either of them in my arms. They've fallen down the stairs. Remember those stairs of death? If I was watched for every dumbass thing I've done with my kids, I would be embarrassed beyond words. The girl tripped on her pants. It's happened to moms before and it'll happen again. Britney's problem (one of them at least - I can't get started on K-Fed, there's not enough space on the internet) is that all of her mistakes are culminated together and makes her look like a shitty ass mom and I honestly do…

Shitty Mix Tape Collection

I was over visiting Sarah and saw this and thought it looked like fun. Head over to Paige's and check out the contest. I had too much fun coming up with my list and the saddest part of all, I probably had a tape just like this in high school. God, I was such a dork. Was? Yeah, I still am.

For your audio enjoyment/displeasure:

1.Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians - What I Am



2. UB40 - Red, Red Wine


3. Escape Club - Wild, Wild West


4. Slaughter - Up All Night


No shitty mix tape would be complete without a love song

5. Vanilla Ice - I Love You

Paid Vacation! Yes!

So I had an interview on Thursday and was offered a job on the spot. Nothing fancy. Same job as the last one but I think I may be booted up to Customer Service Manager. That's what it sounded like but I won't know for sure until next week when I go in for orientation. I get to watch 3 hours of videos again. Yay! Ooh if they send me for a drug test, I should probably tell them I'm on the happy pills. I don't like poppy seeds so I don't have to worry bout that. It pays pretty decent and it looks like I'll be full time. I told them I could work some midnight shifts and holidays - I'm pretty sure those sealed the deal for me. I start in a couple weeks and Oooh....they are the same union as my last place so I don't have to pay the enrolling fee or whatever it is again! Saved me $50 right there. So yay, a break/mini vacation from the kids and I get paid. I like this. Seriously though, working after I had Monkey Boy and Peanut truly saved my sanity and probabl…

Out In Public? Together? What?

Today we ventured on a much needed family outing, just the four of us. We loaded up the "I can hold two kids having a meltdown while you look around for a drink" stroller and headed to Minnetrista for Trista Day. They had fire trucks, police cruisers, police horses, the ambulance, etc. Oh did Monkey Boy love this place. He climbed in a fire truck, a tractor (which he kept calling a Caterpillar but alas, it was a yellow John Deere tractor. I would be confused too. Aren't they all green? Of course now I go look at the page and dammit, there are a couple yellow ones. Pahshaw.) and the ponies? Oh yes, I was a mean mommy and put each of my kids on one even though they cried because I wanted them to at least experience it. Peanut did not like it one little bit. Monkey Boy cried until he tried to get down and then of course, decided he loved the pony. There was a line of kids waiting so there was the major meltdown of the day that led to the bribing with mass quantities of roll…

Best. Joke. Ever.

Or in the top ten at least. Thanks to Dre whose email I stole this from. Well, I didn't steal it since it was in an email TO me TO my account but since I don't know who wrote the joke it sorta IS stealing but anyway, slowly back away and put the Vicadin down.


A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own funeral . . . I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

A Day Late, A Dollar Short

I've been thinking about doing these so here's my first one......




Thirteen Things About Monkey Boy and Peanut
1. I never thought I would have them. I was prepared to adopt.2. He loves grapes dipped in ketchup. 3. She dances like those figurines of Hawaiian women on the dashboard of a van.4. He loves girls.5. He won't hesitate to body slam his sister or cousin at any given moment though.6. She knows some sign language.7. He poops** on the big people's potty** chair. (Progress, it's all about going slow - the training, not the pooping**, well hell, you know what I mean.)8. He's a blonde, she's a redhead.9. They love to visit their great gramma in the nursing home as often as they can.10. They love the fat, gray cat that resides at said nursing home as well.11. His first word was cheese.12. They both got two teeth at 5 months.13. They are the most precious things in the world to me and I cry at the thought of leaving their sides for too long. (Note that I didn&#…

Well, Well, Well

That's not how I'm feeling, well ok maybe a little cause of the drugs but more on that later. Has anyone had an MRI? Did you like it? Was it an enjoyable experience? My husband has to be sedated when he has one cause of his claustrophobia. I'm going that route next time. Poor Mohammed (the MRI tech dude), he was trying so hard to talk me into a relaxed mode and it just was not working. I'd like to be witty and funny about the situation but even now, looking back, I start to have anxiety. I was 1/4 of the way in the TOD** and started to freak. Out I came. Hallelujah. 2/3 in? Nope. Out. Finally got in and thought I would dehydrate from all the crying. I wasn't racked with sobs but those quiet, I don't want the world to know how terrified I am tears. They gave me headphones with some craptastic elevator music but as soon as I entered the TOD I couldn't hear a damn thing. And hello? A little warning on the sounds would be great. I knew there would be thunking a…

Dear Jesus,

While you're forgiving me for this, please forgive me for taking you out of my blogging life. I have been shown the errors of my ways.

Thank you and hey, Bless Yourself.

Trish the Dish

The One Where She Just Doesn't Shut Up

The husband had to have one of those "at your house" physicals for his life insurance tonight. She took his blood pressure, he gave her some pee. It was lovely. Then came the blood sucking part. His veins like to play hide and seek except they always win. No seeking here. She was digging around with the needle and I was talking to him to get his mind off the search and destroy mission going on in his arms. No dice. He got clammy and pale so he sat on the couch. She tried again a couple times but I couldn't watch this round of torture. Finally she admitted defeat and took a few drops from the finger and off she went. She left us with a giddy schoolgirl. Said schoolgirl turned into a drunk speaking buffoon. I really mean that in the nicest way possible. He had slurred speech, felt like he was in slo-mo, sore arms (duh), heartburn, some nausea (that didn't stop him from eating pizza and strawberry shortcake) and he was parched and was drinking an inordinate amount of wa…

Me! Me! Ooh ooh! It's me!

and the question is.....

Who had the shittiest Mother's Day ever? Even worse than the very first one she ever had when her brother in law said mother's don't deserve a special day, it's all about money?

Oh yes people, that would be moi. Thank you, thank you very much.

So Tired But Excited

Monkey Boy and his drugged up Mamma
So yeah these meds are great. Until they made me sick. Blech. I don't mind the "feeling a buzz" action, I kinda dig it but the "I almost lost my lunch in front of people at the post office"? Not so much. I've gotten to where I take the medicine with food no matter if it says I don't have to. Before I had kids I could take the tylenol with codeine on an empty stomach. Not anymore. I will say though that my back doesn't hurt as much. I don't take anything if I'm going to be driving anywhere. Since it hurts like the dickens when I don't take anything, I don't tend to go far or often. Tomorrow though is a big day.

My sister in law, Fluffy, and I are volunteering at the Mall of America for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. The Race For The Cure is going on this Sunday but we're going to help out with the Kid's Fun Run. Since my Gramma died from breast cancer and an aquaintance of ours just found ou…

I Like The Drugs

And the drugs like me. I finally had to go to an orthopedic specialist today because my back has been hurting horribly for 5 days now. Nothing on the x-rays but he thinks it could be a blown disc or a herniated one. I get to go see a surgeon on the 16th. Yay for me. Pfftthh. I could write more but yeah, those painkillers? oh. so very nice. yes indeed.

Penis Mark, Girl Talk w/ The Boys and Lots of Drinking

Last weekend we went to the Vikings NFL Draft Party at Winter Park. I took lots of pictures and saw lots of interesting people and things. Also saw the world's best t-shirt. That's not what this post is about though. I just thought I would let you know that I went there. Ok, moving right along.

My friend, Georgia (Hi Georgia!) had her houswarming party this weekend in Onalaska. Not Alaska. Onalaska. Ok let's just say LaCrosse. You can put the map away. Party. Right. Carrying on. Since the inlaws had Monkey Boy all week/end, the husband was a great great man and said we could down there for the event. Money crunch is an understatment here. We got there and I was able to see G's son Zach before I dropped him off at his dad's. I miss that kid. I'm glad I was able to see him. G didn't want him around Sat cause all of her friends are drunk, loud, obnoxious, foul mouthed bafoons. Oh wait, that's just me minus the drunk. Most of the time.

We had so much fun and …

Forgive Me Father, I Was Young, Single, Probably Under The Influence of Alcohol

We live with my inlaws and 90% of our possessions are in their house. I don't know how it all fits but let's just say that there used to be a cute matching couch/sofa (davenport if you were talking to my Gramma) and loveseat** in the living room but you can't see them through the boxes, china hutch and dresser. My poor father in law. At least he still has his recliner.

I figured, since they were up north on vacation with our Monkey Boy and all around trouble maker, this would be a great time to finish inventoring the boxes since I did a half ass job as we were loading them in the moving truck. I'm tired of the "Where the hell is the blender for margueritas?" game searching for it. In the same 12 boxes. There are about 30 boxes? I think. mentally counting mentally taking a valium mentally in New Zealand on my own vacation with just the husband What? Oh. Yes. Sorry. I needed to go anal on the living room and get it organized.

Imagine the horror and shame that …