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I Give

Hey life? You win. I lose.

How much shit can you throw at me? I don't even want to know an exact amount. I think I have a good idea. And I'm not that good at math.

I'm at a stress level point right now where every little thing that irks me is starting to piss me off. Instead of talking it out, I cry. I don't like crying. Once in awhile is ok but this is ridiculous.

I feel like I can't even vent on here. I think I need to go back to therapy. At least then I have someone who will call me out on my bullshit yet won't judge me.

I'm terrified that this is how I am now, before the baby gets here, before we know what* (if anything) is wrong with her. I don't want to know how or who I'll be after she gets here. Sweet Baby Jesus, please lead me in the right direction.

*I don't even know that I can write a post about today's ultrasound and several phone calls with the specialists afterwards. I don't think I have that in my emotional capacity right now.

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