Too Many Letters. May Have Writer's Cramp

Dear Guy Who Yelled At His Son Every Time They Were In Together,

Nice denial and poker face when I tried to give you your kid's number. He's only been looking for you for half a year. Good parenting call there.

I am so staying out of this one,
Your cashier

Dear Bitch Who Smells Like An Herbal Essence Factory Exploded In Her Car 2 Minutes Ago,

Seriously? You stink. I may puke. Also, you're mean to strangers. That lady did nothing to you. Karma is a bitch too. She's just more effective. Good luck with that one.

Just an FYI,
The very pregnant one

Dear Still Drunk From St. Patty's Day Parties Down At The U Customer,

Dude. You stink worse than the fruity lady. Shower please. And the twitch for you fix? Yeah, you're not so good at hiding it. Nice try though.

I need a clothespin, a bucket and some Febreeze,
Your still very pregnant cashier

Dear Lady Who Likes To Point Out My Large Pregnancy Every Single Time You See Me Which Is Every Other Day,

I get it. I'm the size of a barn.

Moooooving along,
Farmer Preggo

Dear D Bag On The Phone Who Made Me Want To Fork My Eyes Out,

Yeah, I knew your ass wouldn't show up today. Mr. I'm going to make a special trip to your store so you can fix this problem. When you're wrong, it's OK to admit it. I won't think less of you. I couldn't possibly do that anyway.

I have to remember I love my job,
Your Service With A Smile cashier

Comments

I Can't Wait

I know of no one who agrees with me that Jason Mewes is hot. This is a bad example and this is definately NOT hot. That's ok though. I remember the good, forget the bad. I make no excuses for my taste*. For fans of Clerks , Chasing Amy , Dogma , Jay and Silent Bob , etc , check it out: P.S. I've been working 'til 11 or midnight most nights so I'm pooped. I'll blog more. I promise. Was I missed though? * Or lack thereof to some people

This, That and The Other

I can already tell that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to suck ass even more than it normally would at my job. Last night, a guy was telling me how much he gave me, how much he was supposed to get back and THEN told me what order to give it back to him in. Um? Sir? I'm not a twit, ok, I am a twit, but I'm not an idiot. Ok, sometimes I can be. Like that time I moved up to Wisconsin in the middle of a blizzard from nice, warm Tucson, AZ for a dumb boy and we broke up less than two months later. Yeah that sucked but my point is: I've been in retail, just about every job one could have except store manager, for about oh, 19 years. I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to giving change back. Don't talk to me like I'm a 16 yr old kid who's working his first job and doesn't give a shit what kind of work ethic he has. I care about you as a customer but when you're a dick to me and pissing off everyone in my line so they are dicks to me ? Well, ...

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks. My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory): I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were. Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all. Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who ...

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