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Freaky Friday

I think I may make this a common thing for Fridays. (I swear I almost typed out Thursday, got to the s and realized I'm a dumbass zoned out mom today)

What the hell is with kids and wanting to look at poop? Inspect the poop. Smell the poop. If I turned away for a second, I'm sure she would have taste tested as well. If Monkey Boy is in the room, he will beg to "just look at the poop Mommy PUHLEEZE!" and won't relent until you crumble in defeat and hold up the glorious feces filled diaper for all to see. I tell them they've looked at it long enough because Mommy's lungs are filling with toxic fumes that clearly toddler lungs are immune to and I'm met with such sadness and indignation from them. How dare she take away our poop? So what if she's turning blue and almost falling over? We know how to get the cereal on top of the fridge. We know how to get the donuts and juice. What is her problem? It's just poop Mom!

Friday is my Monday. I have every Thursday off so I call that my Sunday. Hence today is my Monday though really Saturdays should be because Sat and Sun are my crazy days where I'm in charge and everyone that's efficient calls out and I'm stuck with the nimrods that should have been fired a looooooooooong time ago. I usually have the nutjob people on the weekends. Hey, I never told the stories about those two ladies on the same day who made me want to put a fork in their eyes did I? Well.......

Cust #1 purchased maybe 25 items according to the receipt. She had a coupons for a total of $13.00 off her order if she purchased 20 of the specified items on the two coupons. I hate these coupons. I've shopped and gotten just what's on the list and it still doesn't take it off. Grr. 10 of her items were not included on the coupons and she acknowledged this. Therefore she didn't have what she needed for the money to come off. Not hard to understand right? Right. This lady is bitching at a new cashier who's freaking out and calls me over in desperation. I ask her to come to the service desk and she says "OH YES Let's go to the service desk, grumble grumble". Um ok. Whatever. We get over there and I'm trying to look at her receipt while she's talking to me like a mother truckin' idiot. "See this box? Everything in the green box is part of the coupon! See? (Pointing along green line) GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN" Pardon me while I step back and collect myself. I actually was ready to go off and Zach just reached over, "Here's your $13.00, have a great night" without even looking at her. "That's what I thought. Your ads are misleading and I'm going to call someone about it" I had told her this happens alot because of different sizes and quantities and that I could fix it for her by going through her receipt which she didn't want me to do because SHE DIDN'T GET THE REQUIRED ITEMS. I actually called her the C word in my head. Not out loud though I said I was thinking of calling her that but in my head? I was SCREAMING it to her the whole time. That's how much I hated her. Guh.

The other one is easier and shorter to tell. Lady comes through Ryan's line (Hi Ryan!), double bags two bags of her frozen/dairy/produce stuff, writes out her check, tells Ryan that she can't believe they have to bag their own stuff. He calls someone over, they get there in like 4 seconds. She looks at Ryan and says "Ya know what? I don't want any of it. You take care of it" And walks. out. of. the. store. Um no lady, wtf is your problem? I thought Ryan was playing around with me but the two couples behind this woman concurred. She was a bitch they say. I love when customers call other customers really naughty well deserved names. I feel the warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

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