They Really Like Our Corner

The popo really like our street. They like to pull people over in front of the house to tease me. I don't know what happens to me but I lose my mind when I see the lights outside the window. My father in law even calls me at work to torment me. I love watching people take the sobriety test and doing the play by play safely ensconsed in the house so as not to get in trouble. Today's perp is this fella's doppleganger. I would think he got a ticket for the loud Boeing 747 engine he had on the bike or the no helmet thing, not sure. Either way, the o

fficer was very easy on the eyes. After the popo left, the guy could not get his bike to start. It was hilarious to watch him try and try to no avail. He finally backed the bike up, hitched up his pants (and thank god he did that) then took off running, jumped on the bike and popped it. It sounded like it was going to die every 3 seconds and I thought he was going to run into my FIL's truck. Alas, he made it to the park next door, turned around and was gone. My entertainment for the day I tell ya.

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DOODLEBOPS UNMASKED - ALL THREE

Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...

She Was Heartbroken

After reading about Kim and Reggie breaking up, the Monkey had a moment of silence to reflect on the love that is no longer there. And then she ate part of the page. Fiber! She needs fiber ya know! She wasn't as into the Saved By The Bell article like her favorite Auntie was (ahem) but she did kiss Zack Morris. No lie. Puckered right on up and layed one on him. He hasn't been the same since.

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