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I Feel The Earth Move

Whilst I was slaving away at work the other night, Monkey Boy decided he wanted to rearrange the closet shelf. The shelf that he's too short to reach. Not a problem for him. He just climbed on the video cabinet. The video cabinet that's chock full of DVDs and my Harry Potter books. (I have to keep them somewhere!) The cabinet clearly wanted none of that. It decided to lay on him. Oh yes, I hear he was screeching and hollering up a storm. He had to be rescued by Gramma. His foot was a little bent outta shape and he was so sad. He rocked with his best friend Gramma and all was good in about 30 minutes. Come with me in my time machine if you will.....

Yesterday it was me and the Peanut home alone (my MIL took the boy) and we were having a great day. Until the afternoon. Peanut was attempting to escape a timeout by scaling the gate at the bottom of the small set of steps. In her quest to become an Olympic jumper, she fell in the direction she was coming from and landed on her head. On the steps. She was not a happy chica let me tell you. I go over and get her, start snuggling and comforting her heading for the rocker when it happened. My thigh hit the side of the stupid, chicken plucker of a bench and down we went. Oh yes, I was still holding her. As we were going downtown, I kinda tossed her away from me (there was no oomph behind chucking her) so I wouldn't land on her and hurt her even more. Well she landed square on her ass, Yay! diapers!! Oh but the force of her teeny ass hitting the ground knocked her backwards in the sitting position and her head bounced off the carpet. Oh it keeps getting better folks. (I know it's hard to believe but if you think about those stairs of death from Dec last year, you'll believe. Oh yes Virginia, you'll believe.) As Peanut is incurring what I'm sure it her 5th mild concussion, I am still falling to the ground trying to break my fall but not my arms (or new glasses that without insurance and with an eye exam would have cost me $645). I hit the ottoman (the $750 OTTOMAN THAT YOU KIDS NEED TO STAY OFF OF UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO BUY ANOTHER ONE! as my father in law calls it) with my head and there we were: two ladies just a rollin' on the floor crying, nay, sobbing fountains of tears and miraculously, no dumb boy was involved.

Hazard Pay people! Ya'll think I'm playin'. We mommies need some mother truckin' hazard pay.


Les Becker said…
Oh my god, I hope you are both okay! Geez, Trish! I'll sign the Hazard Pay Petition for you...
VeganCyclist said…
i'll sign.

that was seriously funny. no, not laughing at you, WITH YOU!

thanks for the story.

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