Skip to main content

I Feel The Earth Move

Whilst I was slaving away at work the other night, Monkey Boy decided he wanted to rearrange the closet shelf. The shelf that he's too short to reach. Not a problem for him. He just climbed on the video cabinet. The video cabinet that's chock full of DVDs and my Harry Potter books. (I have to keep them somewhere!) The cabinet clearly wanted none of that. It decided to lay on him. Oh yes, I hear he was screeching and hollering up a storm. He had to be rescued by Gramma. His foot was a little bent outta shape and he was so sad. He rocked with his best friend Gramma and all was good in about 30 minutes. Come with me in my time machine if you will.....

Yesterday it was me and the Peanut home alone (my MIL took the boy) and we were having a great day. Until the afternoon. Peanut was attempting to escape a timeout by scaling the gate at the bottom of the small set of steps. In her quest to become an Olympic jumper, she fell in the direction she was coming from and landed on her head. On the steps. She was not a happy chica let me tell you. I go over and get her, start snuggling and comforting her heading for the rocker when it happened. My thigh hit the side of the stupid, chicken plucker of a bench and down we went. Oh yes, I was still holding her. As we were going downtown, I kinda tossed her away from me (there was no oomph behind chucking her) so I wouldn't land on her and hurt her even more. Well she landed square on her ass, Yay! diapers!! Oh but the force of her teeny ass hitting the ground knocked her backwards in the sitting position and her head bounced off the carpet. Oh it keeps getting better folks. (I know it's hard to believe but if you think about those stairs of death from Dec last year, you'll believe. Oh yes Virginia, you'll believe.) As Peanut is incurring what I'm sure it her 5th mild concussion, I am still falling to the ground trying to break my fall but not my arms (or new glasses that without insurance and with an eye exam would have cost me $645). I hit the ottoman (the $750 OTTOMAN THAT YOU KIDS NEED TO STAY OFF OF UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO BUY ANOTHER ONE! as my father in law calls it) with my head and there we were: two ladies just a rollin' on the floor crying, nay, sobbing fountains of tears and miraculously, no dumb boy was involved.

Hazard Pay people! Ya'll think I'm playin'. We mommies need some mother truckin' hazard pay.
Labels:

Comments

Les Becker said…
Oh my god, I hope you are both okay! Geez, Trish! I'll sign the Hazard Pay Petition for you...
3:51 PM
KariDyan said…
i'll sign.

that was seriously funny. no, not laughing at you, WITH YOU!

thanks for the story.
8:31 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

This, That and The Other

I can already tell that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to suck ass even more than it normally would at my job. Last night, a guy was telling me how much he gave me, how much he was supposed to get back and THEN told me what order to give it back to him in. Um? Sir? I'm not a twit, ok, I am a twit, but I'm not an idiot. Ok, sometimes I can be. Like that time I moved up to Wisconsin in the middle of a blizzard from nice, warm Tucson, AZ for a dumb boy and we broke up less than two months later. Yeah that sucked but my point is: I've been in retail, just about every job one could have except store manager, for about oh, 19 years. I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to giving change back. Don't talk to me like I'm a 16 yr old kid who's working his first job and doesn't give a shit what kind of work ethic he has. I care about you as a customer but when you're a dick to me and pissing off everyone in my line so they are dicks to me ? Well, ...
11 comments
Read more

I Can't Wait

I know of no one who agrees with me that Jason Mewes is hot. This is a bad example and this is definately NOT hot. That's ok though. I remember the good, forget the bad. I make no excuses for my taste*. For fans of Clerks , Chasing Amy , Dogma , Jay and Silent Bob , etc , check it out: P.S. I've been working 'til 11 or midnight most nights so I'm pooped. I'll blog more. I promise. Was I missed though? * Or lack thereof to some people
7 comments
Read more

Um What?

Why does he feel the need to do this? He sleeps with his hand in his pull up. He pulls his penis out during the day to show me. Here I thought it went to Penis Playgroup. How did Peanut know, before even touching the icicle that it would be cool and warranted the face of pure happiness? Oh how she was distraught when it was taken away. I think she was really just pissed off because Monkey Boy took it and broke it into 12 pieces and that was the end of Fun With Sharp Frozen Things. *** I'm so irked at the whole T.O. thing in Dallas. I wish Jerry Jones would just stick his head further up his ass. *** When you stub your toe and the next day it looks like your 3yr old colored your foot with black, blue and purple markers, you probably broke it. *** It doesn't feel good when said 3yr old stomps on said foot during one of appx 14 meltdowns - this morning. *** Trying to rearrange a bedroom that 2 kids and an adult share while all those people are in there? Not such a good idea. *** ...
3 comments
Read more