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My Heart Will Go On

So for years now I've had fainting spells, blackouts, dizziness, rapid heart palpitations and whatnot. I had a Holter Monitor on in 8th grade from passing out so much. Nothing serious was noted in the results from that. We moved on, nothing more happened really. About ten years later, blackout spells started. I had so many tests run to figure out what was happening. Tilt table tests are kinda fun when you're not freaking out about dying. I'm a weirdo. They couldn't find anything wrong with me except I had low blood pressure. This was contributing to the spells. Around the same time, a cousin of mine was having the same problems. We're 3 weeks apart in age. We compared notes and joked that, of course, we'd be going through the same thing. We were a lot alike personality wise growing up. When I spent summers at my gramma's place, my cousin and I would spend hours cruising town. Those were some good times. So here we are in our early twenties, passing out and not due to drinking (though I did my fair share and some of her share I'm sure). Lo and behold, she had a cyst at the base of her brain. She had a shunt put in and all is well in her world. As soon as I heard that, I called my doctor convinced I had a cyst as well. Yeah, no. I didn't though I made sure they looked thoroughly. So I moved on once again, convinced I was just a freak who was defective.

When I was pregnant with the Peanut, I had a couple rapid heart spells that scared me. I could feel the beats in my throat, my jaw would hurt, I would see stars. This all happened once or twice a year and increased as I got more into my thirties. When the first one happened while I was pregnant, I didn't make it to the ER in time for them to catch it on the EKG. The second time though we did. It was New Year's Day. That was fun for The Captain. Poor fella. The Broad's 8 months pregnant, having heart trouble and he's got a hangover in the hospital ER. Oh it's fun in our house.

I recovered after they gave me some meds that made me feel worse before better. I asked if there was some other way we could get it under control and when he told me that I could die or we could lose the baby, well, there was no choice. Bring on the pain. Bring on the funk. Oh, sorry. I went home later that day and saw a cardiologist a few days later. They said I have supra ventricular tachycardia and I was told that if it wasn't taken care of, I shouldn't think of having more kids since they seem to happen more when I'm pregnant. Well shit, I kinda want one more. Not right now but ya know, when the Peanut's in high school. OK, maybe before then.

That was 2 years ago. We aren't thinking of having another baby anytime in the next couple years but I've had the episodes probably 5 or 6 times since the Peanut was born. I sucked it up, saw a cardiologist here in Minneapolis and voila, I'm having an SVT ablation done. My doctor, the fabulous Dr. K, explained it so well. Your heart has 4 chambers. The top 2 receive the go ahead to pump, the bottom 2 accept said pump and off ya go heartbeat. In my heart, there's a group of cells near the mid line. Sometimes the message to pump my heart bounces around and hits these cells. When that happens, my heartbeat decides to do laps with the cells. This causes my heart rate to hit 185 (that's the highest it was clocked). They say it won't kill me but really, your heart beating 3x what it normally does? That doesn't sound so healthy to me especially since it happens more lately.

The ablation goes down like this: I get put out (thank God), they put an IV catheter in a vein in each upper thigh. They'll run a wire up each leg to my heart. They'll find this renegade group of cells and zap them with some kick ass energy. This procedure is the only surefire way to stop the episodes. I had two other options: take meds that are only 60% effective and have horrible side effects or do nothing (that clearly was not working). I'm having the procedure done this Friday. And I have to tell you....

I'm scared shitless. Really.

I am convinced that something is going to happen. Isn't that horrible? I certainly don't want anything bad to happen and yet, in my mind, they're going to poke a hole in my heart. By the way, they do about 730 of these procedures every year and they haven't had anyone die, have a heart attack on the table or need a pacemaker put in. They have, however, poked holes in peoples' hearts. Thanks for the honesty. No, really, as odd as it sounds, I like that he told me that. At least he wasn't bullshitting me.
I go in at oh-dark-thirty Friday morning and should be going home Saturday afternoon. I can't lift anything over 10lbs the first couple days. My kids will just love that. So even though nothing bad is going to happen, I'm a chicken shit and would really like it if everyone would think good thoughts for me. Thanks.


Les Becker said…
Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, and will continue to think good, wonderful, warm thoughts straight at you and your heart. You'd better update the second you get home (it's perfectly fine to update while stoned). Please.
tina said…
Hey Trish, hang in there. You will be fine, I know it. My aunt justhad something similar done. She just said that she was upset that she forgot to shave her hoo-ha, so she was emabarrassed. :-) Have the Capt'n take care of that, ok? :-)

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