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This Heart Of Mine

Preschool, an ablation, self doubts, potty training, tempers, anxiety, pain, sadness, worry. I can't deal with all of this at once. It's just too much for one person.

Separately, these things are not so bad. Throw them all together and voila! You've got me heading down into my funk. I don't like my funk. I'm not me when I'm there. I hate medication. Last one I was on made me feel weird and not in a good way weird. I don't know what to do anymore. I just think about letting life flow right by me. No need to jump in all the time. Take a break. I can't do that though. Not as a parent. I shouldn't worry about seemingly silly things. Emotions that all parents go through and yet here I am. Doing just that.

I don't want to take the boy to the doctors' but we need help with him. I hurt for him. I cry for him when people look at him as if he's a high maintenance child. High energy. High stress. Hey, that's my son you're talking about. Please, a child. Pick on someone your own size. Such a loving boy. So sweet, free with his hugs and kisses (on his terms, natch) but so..... I don't know. Hence, the doctor.

I can no longer see through the tears.

Perhaps tomorrow, there will be some sun.

and that asshole Johnson won. Bastard.


Les Becker said…
Ouch. Thinking of you. Things will get better (sounds just Jim-F-ing-Dandy when people say that, I know, sorry). Hang on 'til they do get better. I will send good thoughts.
Anonymous said…
Sweety you know I love Donovan with all my heart, he is my little man, the only little man in my life (dakota is my big man, lol) and no matter what he does, spill m&m's on lap or whatever he will always have the biggest place in my heart. I have loved that little man since day one, hence the crying during his "tempature taking" back in the day. Hang in there, k. Donovan is just going through some stuff and I am sure things will get better :) Love you!!

Anonymous said…
Everything will get better, and I am thinking good thoughts for you. Donovan is so loved that you know he will be ok. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you!!! Love ya!
Anonymous said…
Ok, my first comment didn't go through (and if it did, you get to read it twice now - lucky you :)

Everything will be ok. With so much love, how can it not. I am here if you ever need to talk!!


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