Skip to main content

This Heart Of Mine

Preschool, an ablation, self doubts, potty training, tempers, anxiety, pain, sadness, worry. I can't deal with all of this at once. It's just too much for one person.

Separately, these things are not so bad. Throw them all together and voila! You've got me heading down into my funk. I don't like my funk. I'm not me when I'm there. I hate medication. Last one I was on made me feel weird and not in a good way weird. I don't know what to do anymore. I just think about letting life flow right by me. No need to jump in all the time. Take a break. I can't do that though. Not as a parent. I shouldn't worry about seemingly silly things. Emotions that all parents go through and yet here I am. Doing just that.

I don't want to take the boy to the doctors' but we need help with him. I hurt for him. I cry for him when people look at him as if he's a high maintenance child. High energy. High stress. Hey, that's my son you're talking about. Please, a child. Pick on someone your own size. Such a loving boy. So sweet, free with his hugs and kisses (on his terms, natch) but so..... I don't know. Hence, the doctor.

I can no longer see through the tears.

Perhaps tomorrow, there will be some sun.

and that asshole Johnson won. Bastard.

Comments

Les Becker said…
Ouch. Thinking of you. Things will get better (sounds just Jim-F-ing-Dandy when people say that, I know, sorry). Hang on 'til they do get better. I will send good thoughts.
Anonymous said…
Sweety you know I love Donovan with all my heart, he is my little man, the only little man in my life (dakota is my big man, lol) and no matter what he does, spill m&m's on lap or whatever he will always have the biggest place in my heart. I have loved that little man since day one, hence the crying during his "tempature taking" back in the day. Hang in there, k. Donovan is just going through some stuff and I am sure things will get better :) Love you!!

Fluffy
Anonymous said…
Everything will get better, and I am thinking good thoughts for you. Donovan is so loved that you know he will be ok. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you!!! Love ya!
Sarah
Anonymous said…
Ok, my first comment didn't go through (and if it did, you get to read it twice now - lucky you :)

Everything will be ok. With so much love, how can it not. I am here if you ever need to talk!!

Love,
Sarah

Popular posts from this blog

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes? 

My house has always been different from other houses. I don't think I could narrow it down to a particular time. I recall not having friends stay over. Ever. I always stayed at all my friends' houses and called their moms "Mom".

Not a lot of my friends were only children so to them, I was the odd duck. Believe me, I *was* the odd duck. Just for a myriad of other reasons.

Having a family of my own, I really see the differences in houses. We are more relaxed with some things that would not fly in other houses. It gets loud in our house. Extremely loud. If I stopped them from being loud all the time, I wouldn't get a single thing done. I tend to jump in right away when the kids are arguing because it can, and will, quickly snowball into WWIII and someone (or both) will be crying. We let our son play the Wii, computer or DS for far longer than other parents or even the "…

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks.

My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory):
I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were.Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all.Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who died from c…

DOODLEBOPS UNMASKED - ALL THREE

Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.