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I've Never Liked Tests

Two weeks from now Monkey Boy is having some testing done. We've been experiencing some problems and we want to make sure all bases are covered. Ya know, get all the T's crossed and I's dotted before going off the deep end thinking he's going to be a hatemonger in high school.

We've had a few people tell us that he displays classic signs of a high functioning mild autistic child. At first the Captain and I were a little taken aback. No one wants anything to be "wrong" with their child. You say autism and people change how they treat you and your child (and not always in a good direction). I talked with several people familiar with the spectrum and they all agreed: Taken individually, all of his "quirks" are normal. Throw them all together into one child and now you're talking about something else.

Every kid has a routine about certain things. It's cute. Adorable. Until you can't leave the house because he has to do this routine and can't get through the cycle without a mistake and has to start all over again. It's taken me upwards of 15 minutes to leave the house. I mean being able to shut the screen door alone. Never mind the walk to the car yelling answers to him because if I don't answer? If I don't say I love you 4 times? He flips his lid. It's not pretty and I feel for him. I do. I feel for my husband who has to deal with it while I go to work. I know he feels for me while I'm driving to work barely able to see because the sobs are racking my body and the tears won't stop. I think he has OCD. His routines are odd, not in the realm of normal. If he can't complete them, it's the apocalypse coming. No joke. Heaven forbid you finish a sentence for him because you see him struggling to say it. He doesn't like that. He lets you know. Loudly.

He hits himself in the face. He scratches at his face when he is angry. I want to hug him and hold him, letting him know that I love him so much and please don't hurt yourself but he wants no part of that. Don't get me wrong, he's a very loving boy. He will gives hugs to just about anyone who asks. When he's upset though? Forget it. He goes to this place, this place that I would give anything to see. I just want to know what's going on. After talking to all of these people, we took him to a facility that was recommended to us by a co-worker of the Captain's. We did an in-take interview while the kids played on the floor. Monkey Boy exhibited a lot of the behaviours and actions that caused us concern. I'm alternating between being thankful for that and being embarrassed that he acted that way in public, let alone he acted that way period.

He has a psychology app and medical app one day and the following day is Speech and Language then the conference. I don't want to label my child. I just want to help him. His teachers say he is doing well in preschool. He likes to push the limits. He's a boy. No worries there. He still doesn't partake in activities with other kids. He plays next to them but not with them. Every time we see progress with him and school we think, OK, he's going to turn around and be OK. Then it falls apart. One step forward, two steps back. The sooner we know what we're dealing with, the sooner we can help him. And help us. We need to figure out how to parent him. It's different with the Peanut. The same things don't work with him and we need to find out what does.

I wish I could say why I'm blogging about this but I really don't know. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest and writing always makes me feel better. Maybe it's so that people who think kids like mine are weird won't think that way anymore. Maybe it's to get ideas or help from others. Gah, I think it's all of those things. And more. Thanks for reading this. I'll keep you updated.


Anonymous said…
Hey Trish,
Thank you for sharing something that hits home like that. I have some friends here that have some similar situations that you are going through. I see what you are saying in them all the time. The guilt, the worry, all of it. I wish that I could help with any of it, but I know that I can't. But we are all here to help ofer that shoulder to cry on, or that ear to listen with. :-) Just know that you are doing the right things by looking into this, and not shoving things under the rug... :-) Take care lady!

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