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Well What Do We Have Here?

A fresh, new post? Say it ain't so!

It's apparent to me that a toe injury can really screw you up. We've lived with my inlaws for 2.5 years and I have never tripped while in the basement doing laundry. Sure I've cracked my noggin on the air vent that hangs low. Damn does that hurt. My feet have done me no wrong in the basement. The stairs all over the house? They have failed me miserably. Several times.

A couple weeks ago, I'm bringing clothes upstairs to get ready for work and my foot decided to meet this pipe that sticks out of the floor. I've got no idea what said pipe is for, I just know that I had no problem with it until that night. I hit that damn thing, went forward, collapsible cow hamper not really breaking the fall. My arm hit the door and I thought I heard glass break. Fabulous. No, the broom hit the door. I guess I screamed because Fluffy came running down the stairs with the baby to see what happened. I managed to crawl to the steps and promptly died.

When I came out of the wailing, panting, sobbing mess I assessed the damage. Right away we knew it wasn't going to be pretty. There was a little bit of blood but all in all the swelling was the worst of it. Oh and the throbbing. Sweet fanny francis does that hurt. I taped my toes together, threw on my hard soled house shoes and went to work. Yes. I went to work. Turns out you can't drive the normal way when you break your toe on the gas pedal foot. I don't think I've ever driven with the side of my foot before. Trying new things, it's what I do.

I limped and gimped the whole 4 hours at work praying that every time a cashier needed me it wouldn't be for something stupid. I almost ripped the pager off one cashier's lane because he's a freaking moron and kept calling me over to the register for asinine things. Where's this coupon? What should I do if they don't want this? REALLY?? He's been at this store for FOUR YEARS! I finally told him that if asked me one more ridiculous question, I was going to hurt him and hide his body. Trust.

I had 15 minutes to go on my shift and the husband calls seeing if I can get done early. :::blink::: Um, how early would you like dear? I'm done in 15 minutes. He put Peanut on the phone yet I could have sworn we got a pet seal that no one told me about. Guh-rate. Got the money all put away and headed home.

As I pulled in, he comes out with her in her jammies. I go in to get her blanket (hello) and sit in the back with her on the way to the ER. She has no voice. Says it's in the back of her head by her neck. Um, ok. Sure enough, croup. Twice in 6 months. I don't like croup. She doesn't like croup. The husband doesn't like croup. Why does it like my little girl? At least this time she was still barking when we got there. She got a nebulizer treatment and you would have thought you gave her candy. She loved that thing. Once she as good as new, she got her balloons (two because the nurses were oohing and ahhing over how precocious she is) and we went back home.

I was thinking of doing a two-fer and having them look at my toe but quickly realized that wouldn't bode well. They would just charge me an outrageous bill to say "Yep, it's probably broken but all we can do really is tape it up. That's going to be $764.39 please." No thanks, my $2.69 medical tape at home will do. I did go to the doc a week later and have him look at the swelling and he declared it to be normal. I asked about ibuprofen versus Tylenol because it hurt after my shifts and I got me some vicodin. Sweet.

Fast forward to today. Croup free and the toenail came off. Ok I'm not gonna lie. I was having fun grossing out my son by pulling the toenail up so he could see underneath. He would screech, cover his eyes then tell me to do it again. My little girl just wanted to stare at it and say "Cool Mama". I'm fairly certain that when I hit my toe, the nail immediately separated from the toe thus, no black nail. Yay, cause that would have grossed me out.


Mandy said…
hmm... i wonder which cashier you speak of that asks stupid questions... bahaha

and i'm pretty sure i almost threw up when you spoke of 'lifting up your nail' in this post. thank you. you know how much i LOVE stories with graphic details like that. ish ish ish ish

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