Skip to main content

It's Not Rocket Science

Dear Gentleman Who Can't Grasp The BOGO Concept,

As I told you, your coupon wasn't scanned. I can take care of that for you. I'll refund the lower priced item to your card and all will be well in your world. Yes, you were charged for two of them. It's buy one, get one free. I will refund the lower priced one back to your card. Yes, both are on your receipt. You get one free. No, if you buy one, you don't get that one free. I. have. to. charge. you. for. one. You. get. one. free. Yes I see that you were charged for both. I'm refunding one now. Yes, I know. There are two. There's the refund for the coupon item. Oh you want to return them? You couldn't tell me this at the beginning of this hilariously ridiculous scene? I looked right at you and said it's because you didn't use the coupon but I can take care of it for you, no problem. You said ok, thanks. YOU SAID OK! You didn't say I want to return it. If you want to return them, I can take care of that. Nevermind that smarmy smirk on my face. What's that? Since I'm giving you one free, that's ok? You'll pay for the one and get the other free?That'll work for you? Really? Awesome! You know what would work for me? For you to go back to school and learn what BUY ONE GET ONE FREE MEANS! Yes, that would do. Thanks.

I'll try not to stab you in the eye next time,
Your Happy Customer Service Associate

Dear Asshat (can you call a woman an asshat? I think so, just not a dickhead. at least that's my logic. if they have the body part you can call them that name. can't call a guy a vagina right? ok then) Woman Who Thinks She Can Get What She Wants From Me 'Cause I'm Nice To Her,

Honey, I'm nice to everyone. You're not special. Seriously lady. I don't know you personally. Our children go to the same school. That's it. My child goes to school with a shitload of my other customers' kids. Big hairy deal. I don't like when people think they can get shit for free or get special deals from me just because they think they know me. Yeah, that shit doesn't fly with my boss either. I like my job, I like to be employed and I kinda like the paycheck that I get every week. Stop coming in looking for me or J-Lo to be working so you can scam us. We're onto you and really, if it weren't for my store wanting to please every damn person that walks through that door, I would have told you no ages ago. As it is, I've had to talk to every manager and let them know what your deal is. I refuse to lose my job over something like this. You know your being shifty. AND? AND! Stop bringing your friend in with you pulling the same shit. She doesn't know me from the Pope. She better stop talking to me like she's my BFF. Gah, just stop with the nonsense. Go to another store and do this shit. If I'm going to lose my job, it'll be for something worthwhile. Like pouring bleach down your underwear.*

Thanks for pissing me off, per the norm,
The Pregnant One (and yes! I know I'm pregnant! JESUS MARY MARTHA PEOPLE!)

*I'm tired and feeling sick, that's the best burn I could come up with. Also? the boy has strep and it took the husband about 4 hours to give him one dose of meds. Oh it's been fun.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Can't Wait

I know of no one who agrees with me that Jason Mewes is hot. This is a bad example and this is definately NOT hot. That's ok though. I remember the good, forget the bad. I make no excuses for my taste*. For fans of Clerks , Chasing Amy , Dogma , Jay and Silent Bob , etc , check it out: P.S. I've been working 'til 11 or midnight most nights so I'm pooped. I'll blog more. I promise. Was I missed though? * Or lack thereof to some people

This, That and The Other

I can already tell that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to suck ass even more than it normally would at my job. Last night, a guy was telling me how much he gave me, how much he was supposed to get back and THEN told me what order to give it back to him in. Um? Sir? I'm not a twit, ok, I am a twit, but I'm not an idiot. Ok, sometimes I can be. Like that time I moved up to Wisconsin in the middle of a blizzard from nice, warm Tucson, AZ for a dumb boy and we broke up less than two months later. Yeah that sucked but my point is: I've been in retail, just about every job one could have except store manager, for about oh, 19 years. I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to giving change back. Don't talk to me like I'm a 16 yr old kid who's working his first job and doesn't give a shit what kind of work ethic he has. I care about you as a customer but when you're a dick to me and pissing off everyone in my line so they are dicks to me ? Well, ...

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks. My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory): I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were. Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all. Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who ...