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I'll Admit It, I'm Completely Irrational

It's been a pretty rough day. The kids don't want to listen to one single thing I tell them to do. 

Don't make a mess in the bedroom please, I sleep in there :::commence making a huge mess and deny deny deny when asked who did it:::

Please pull the plug in your bathwater and get out :::please start splashing water all over the place:::

Please, for the love of all things holy, stop talking :::tell a (no lie) 10 minute story regarding absolutely nothing remotely significant in this world or any other:::

Stop whining, you can watch Pocahontas/Little Mermaid/any of the 294 Barbie movies we have tomorrow, they aren't going anywhere :::please put one of the movies in and then scream and screech for a half hour until your mama cries:::

The worst part of it all is that I'm not even that emotional about this stuff right now. My problem? I'm sad that the kids didn't get me a card yesterday, or make me one, or that their father didn't get one from them or even him. Yes, he got me the first season of Bones for Mother's Day and gave it to me on Friday (my fault, I saw it in the bag that he was doing a poor job of trying to hide from me). I know, it's stupid to get all freakin' worked up about this but here's the thing: All my life I've wanted to be a mother and now I am, to three wonderful, beautiful, insane and crazy kids. I love my husband. We have a good life. I know there are people who see Mother's Day as a Hallmark holiday and in a lot of ways, I agree. But I love Mother's Day. I wasn't all that close to my mom growing up. It didn't hold the same meaning for me then. Now that I have kids of my own, my God! It's such a privilege to be a mom. Some people aren't so lucky. I know I bitch about my kids but I love them fiercely. 

All I wanted was for my kids to just say Happy Mother's Day. And that? That has had me in tears for most of today, the day after. I'm not mad at my husband even though he could have told them to tell me (they wouldn't have known otherwise). I just wanted my kids to say it. Shit, now I'm crying again. God bless it. Stupid mother truckin' emotions. 

Once again, I'm sure I made no sense to anyone but myself and even then, that's debatable.

Yes, I am thankful for all of my friends that wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I really am appreciative. It means something different, something more when it comes from your own children though right? K, I'm done.


Anonymous said…
they will tell you when they get older. or at least the girls will. the boy might never get the point. i'm guessing maybe because of your hubby's upbringing he just didn't celebrate it, but i will knock him over the head when i get there. sorry.


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