We left off with my labor nurse Angie and her hand. Ever since that day, I've said it's a good thing that I liked Angie from the get go. I don't know that I would have liked having someone I didn't "click" with having to do what she had to do. So Angie was saying she has the cord, the other nurse was furiously unplugging monitors and stuff. The husband is confused, I'm sure as hell confused. Somehow I got on my hands and knees, per everyone's vehement requests. I tried to keep my shit together but that didn't work so well. I was crying and asking what was going on. I'm sure they told me a couple times that her cord had delivered and that if they didn't take her now, she wouldn't make it. The cord cannot come before the baby, that's what was making her heart rate drop so much. Well OK then, it finally clicked in my head but hi? still in so much pain. Angie was still on the table with me. The husband said she had to duck my legs when I turned over. I like to think that it looked like Twister.
Angie had to stay on the bed, in that position, holding the baby's head off the cord until they delivered her. I don't really remember a whole lot about the trip to the ER. I imagine it went faster than I recall it going. I vaguely remember one of the nurses/doctors nicely asking some gentleman to move out of the way. I only remember that because I thought "how nice of them to still be polite to other people in the hallway as they are rushing me to the OR". I know, I'm weird right? SO, then there was a little disagreement about where to take me. One nurse said downstairs because of the construction going on, the other nurse said no no she stays on this floor. The husband said it was all happening so fast that he didn't know what to think. Poor guy. After the fact, I felt so bad for him (I would have felt bad at that moment but um, I wasn't really thinking about him, no offense). He didn't know what was going on or if either of us would be OK. I can't imagine what was going through his mind at the time.
I get into the OR and at this point, I'm screamin' and hollerin' because hello?? PAIN. Lots of it. Someone stands in front of me and all I see are some scrubs and heard something about OR and anesthesia and we're going to take care of you, do you have allergies NO NO NO just knock me out please for the love of all things holy is the baby OK? it hurts it hurts. I'm a baby. They were very calm and collected and thank goodness someone was 'cause it sure as shit was not going to be me. They told me to lay down on my back again so there was more Twister with Angie. They were giving me oxygen and telling me they were going to put me to sleep and I kept telling them they were taking too long and to just do it already. Please Mary Mother of God just do it. They finally said to take a couple deep breaths, I heard someone else say let it go and in one breath, I was blissfully asleep.
I have to say, I'm really glad now that I'm not a bikini type person. I really haven't been since, well, never. Even when I was a skinny minnie I was never comfortable in a two piece. That being said, two pieces are all I own. Why? Because I know my family doesn't care that I have a muffin top or two in my suit whilst we're splashing in the pool in the backyard. After this birth? Double happy I'm not a two piecer in public. I didn't get the lovely "on the bikini line" incision. Nope, they went old school on me and bloop, from the belly button down to said bikini line is a lovely incision. They said they had to get her out immediately and couldn't take the time to do the other incision. Fine by me. It's kind of the mini me scar of the one on my back from scoliosis surgery. That one goes from the base of my neck to the crack of my ass (you're welcome for that visual).
I woke up in recovery and immediately wanted to know how the baby was (she was fine) and how the husband was (he was fine) and where we they (together - whew). The husband said later that day that he had never been more terrified in his life. He sat down outside of the OR (they wouldn't let him in because I was under and well, he wouldn't have made it). He started hyperventilating and said he could feel the darkness of passing out coming on. Thankfully, when the call was put out for the OR, the head of nursing was there and she kept an eye on the husband. She came out giving him updates and checking up on him. He said every time that door opened, he wasn't sure what they would say. They lost one of us, both of us. It was so scary for him. As he was telling me this, and I know this is mushy, my love for him just grew so much more, if that's even possible. I didn't want him to be scared. I didn't want to be scared. We were both so grateful and blessed to have each other and to have our daughter. It was an emotional time when we were reunited.
I'll post more about the week that we spent at the hospital next week. I'm mentally drained just writing about her birth. It's still hard to think about it and I just have to remind myself that we have a beautiful baby girl. Again, I really can't thank my friends and family enough for the love and support that you've shown us over these last couple weeks. We couldn't find the right words no matter how long we searched. Thank you =0)