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What The Eff?

Yesterday evening my throat was feeling a little, shall we say, funky? I immediately thought of the H1N14ek927n58z4 Influenza that's running out this popsicle stand of a nation because hi media, you make me paranoid. Thank you. 

It was too late for me to go to my clinic so this morning I went. This, of course, is after my night of sleep was ruined by coughing which in turn woke up my sweet baby who will sleep for five hours straight if I let her. I was in tears this morning, I couldn't cough because it was hurting and every breath I took would make all this mucus shit move around and that was no fun. 

I went to the Target clinic and sadly, it was in the one Target that I cannot stand. As my girl calls it, the crazy store. They never have what you want and/or need. The staff is rather curt and rude. The people who answer the phone all need to be retrained. It's the only one that I truly cannot stand going into unless I have to. That being said, it's the only one in the area that has a clinic*. Man up woman!

I go in and tell them I need a rapid strep test and even though I've had it so many times I can diagnose myself, I figure I'll give them something to do today lest they get bored. Five minutes after gagging me with the swabs, she confirmed my self diagnosis. I right away worried about giving it to the baby because of nursing and being in such close proximity of her. They told me that she won't get it from nursing and then, just to be safe, sent me home with a mask to wear when I do nurse her. That mask and my penicillin script are my best friends right now. 

Wouldn't you know it? The baby is way more alert today and she just wants to be held. Gah. What's a mom to do? Hand her over to her father you say? Yeah, no, that's not a good idea. He is having body aches, chills, sore throat and congestion. I'm fairly certain that three of those are on the CDC's "how to know you have the H1N1234lkhj4308isdfl92-0843 Influenza" list of symptoms. He swears it's hay fever or something of that variety. Riiiiight. If he's not better or, God forbid, he's worse tomorrow, I'll drag his butt the craptastic Target that has the clinic and make sure that he gets the strep test. And the flu test. And whatever other test they deem needed. 

On a side note, I would like to clarify that I love Target more than any other store that's out there. I just despise this one in particular. So yeah, I heart you Target. 

This is not how I planned my weekend to go. (not that I plan things out 'cause that would mean I'm like organized and creative and shit like that and if you know me? you know that's not me)

*another example of the poopieness of said Target? on their store specific website, it says to call and make an appt, for certain times that are appropriately labeled, if you so desire to. I desired. Very much. I called and no, they don't take appts. Really? That's great. Thanks for having the wrong, inconvenient information up on your site. It was really helpful to me.


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