Skip to main content

Have You Seen Them?

My children? The ones I could live with? The ones that I would voluntarily take out in public? The ones that would hug and love on us as if tomorrow was never going to come? You haven't seen them? Hmph. Neither have we.

Instead, what we have here is a failure to communicate 6 1/2 yr old boy who thinks that he can say things like, "Helloooo?", "You better answer me Mommy right now!" and, my all time favorite, "Look at my hands (on his hips) and look at my face! Do I look like I'm joking?" No, you don't look like you're joking. Here, taste this soap on your tongue. Does it taste like I'm joking? Didn't think so.

Add to that lovely ball of over energized testosterone, one fired up diva/princess/dictator. And yes, as a matter a fact, a cute 4 yr old redhead can be all three. At the same time usually. It's a rather fascinating phenomenon. If I weren't so embarrassed at how she acts, I would show you but really, some things are to be cherished by mamas alone. Thanks for understanding. Also, I can't tell you how much money I have set aside for hearing aides but I know I'll need them soon. These screeches and meltdowns leave me with ringing in the ears. I would rather go see Glam Slam Metal Jam* again at the Marcus before hearing her throwdown again.

So please people, if you see my children?

Run

Far and fast

*I don't mean that in a bad way either, I loved that show. The boys were fun to see all grown up but oy, they are still loud. (Good God, how freakin' old am I?) I would gladly go again though. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DOODLEBOPS UNMASKED - ALL THREE

Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.
Read more

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...
2 comments
Read more

She Was Heartbroken

After reading about Kim and Reggie breaking up, the Monkey had a moment of silence to reflect on the love that is no longer there. And then she ate part of the page. Fiber! She needs fiber ya know! She wasn't as into the Saved By The Bell article like her favorite Auntie was (ahem) but she did kiss Zack Morris. No lie. Puckered right on up and layed one on him. He hasn't been the same since.
2 comments
Read more