Have You Seen Them?

My children? The ones I could live with? The ones that I would voluntarily take out in public? The ones that would hug and love on us as if tomorrow was never going to come? You haven't seen them? Hmph. Neither have we.

Instead, what we have here is a ~~failure to communicate~~ 6 1/2 yr old boy who thinks that he can say things like, "Helloooo?", "You better answer me Mommy right now!" and, my all time favorite, "Look at my hands (on his hips) and look at my face! Do I look like I'm joking?" No, you don't look like you're joking. Here, taste this soap on your tongue. Does it taste like I'm joking? Didn't think so.

Add to that lovely ball of over energized testosterone, one fired up diva/princess/dictator. And yes, as a matter a fact, a cute 4 yr old redhead can be all three. At the same time usually. It's a rather fascinating phenomenon. If I weren't so embarrassed at how she acts, I would show you but really, some things are to be cherished by mamas alone. Thanks for understanding. Also, I can't tell you how much money I have set aside for hearing aides but I know I'll need them soon. These screeches and meltdowns leave me with ringing in the ears. I would rather go see Glam Slam Metal Jam* again at the Marcus before hearing her throwdown again.

So please people, if you see my children?

Run

Far and fast

*I don't mean that in a bad way either, I loved that show. The boys were fun to see all grown up but oy, they are still loud. (Good God, how freakin' old am I?) I would gladly go again though. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Comments

I Can't Wait

I know of no one who agrees with me that Jason Mewes is hot. This is a bad example and this is definately NOT hot. That's ok though. I remember the good, forget the bad. I make no excuses for my taste*. For fans of Clerks , Chasing Amy , Dogma , Jay and Silent Bob , etc , check it out: P.S. I've been working 'til 11 or midnight most nights so I'm pooped. I'll blog more. I promise. Was I missed though? * Or lack thereof to some people

This, That and The Other

I can already tell that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to suck ass even more than it normally would at my job. Last night, a guy was telling me how much he gave me, how much he was supposed to get back and THEN told me what order to give it back to him in. Um? Sir? I'm not a twit, ok, I am a twit, but I'm not an idiot. Ok, sometimes I can be. Like that time I moved up to Wisconsin in the middle of a blizzard from nice, warm Tucson, AZ for a dumb boy and we broke up less than two months later. Yeah that sucked but my point is: I've been in retail, just about every job one could have except store manager, for about oh, 19 years. I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to giving change back. Don't talk to me like I'm a 16 yr old kid who's working his first job and doesn't give a shit what kind of work ethic he has. I care about you as a customer but when you're a dick to me and pissing off everyone in my line so they are dicks to me ? Well, ...

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks. My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory): I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were. Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all. Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who ...

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