Have I Mentioned That I'm Not A Morning Person?

Emails from this morning:

From The Dad

To The Mom

Hi honey,

How's it going? Well the boy seems to be in waking up for school mode since he gets up at 5am now. Actually it was 4:45 this morning.

Love you.

From The Mom

To The Dad

Oh no he was up at 4am because he came upstairs crying about a nightmare he had. Wanna hear what it was? Sure ya do: He had a muffin with green topping and the girl squished it.

He laid with me for a few minutes then declared you were better to sleep with and off he went. To get some Swiss Cake Rolls. At 4:20 (heh) in the morning. We did not have the rolls and went back to bed. Again, I was declared unacceptable and he came to you.

The end.

Love you,

Comments

Nice To Meet You

Hi. I just got here last week. They call me the Littlest Little. I'm glad to be here and I'm sure I'll be seein' ya around. This my mama. She's always telling me that she loves me and is so blessed to have me in her life. Sometimes she cries. Wait, that's all the time. Someone should get her a tissue or two or a box. This is my daddy. See my pinky here? He's wrapped around it already. I don't think he minds though. This is Fluffy and she's the coolest auntie there is. Her little girl, Monkey? I dig that one. Hopefully she and I can be the best of friends. It's my uncle, Pedro Juan. Everyone says I'm a mellow baby and that he was the same way when he was but a baby. That's cool with me. I love my Peej. Hopefully I'll have photos of me with my cousins and siblings tomorrow. And Uncle Kota? Mama is trying to find the picture of us together. She's not all that fast on the uptake. Cut her some slack though k? If she gets her poop in...

Customer Appreciation Day

Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...

BEWARE!! DeeDee Doodle Unmasked!!

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