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Another Reason I'm Not A Fan Of Small Critters

...when they die, they don't have the courtesy of going outside to die therefore they stink up my house. The dead animal smelling up the joint this past spring was found. I'll be sure to tell Simon and Theadore that it was a quick death though I'm sure they'll see right through my thinly veiled lies. Perhaps they'll chew off my nose in the middle of the night. Hopefully they'll wait until I'm congested so as to get extra fiber. Does snot have fiber?*

I don't know why no one else in this house can smell the dead animal because the odor is all up in my nasal cavity and really, ya'll, it's not gardenias and vanilla. The chipmunk was found (well, I imagine what was left of him was found - ish)  in the heating duct going to the main living room. This one is hitting the upstairs. Where the baby sleeps. Where I sleep. Where the 14 year old 5 year old sleeps when she feels the compulsive need to steal 2/3 of a bed and 87% of my blankets. Heat rises right? Well I am here to tell you that odors rise as well. The good. The bad. The ugly. This falls into the ugly.

How does one take care of this problem? I wouldn't know how the other people of this great land do it since I don't go inquiring about dead animals in people's houses. You tend to get odd looks and people slowly backing away from you making excuses that they have to be here, there, anywhere. We wait it out is what we do. We've learned in the past (sad, a lesson learned more than once) that the smell will eventually fade away and either a squirrel, chipmunk, raccoon, bird, whatevs, will drag the carcass away or it will decomp so much that it will fall down whatever it's in and hopefully not land on me.

Then I would die and I imagine I would stink a lot worse than some little ol' singing rodent.

*no...according to several sources, snot has no nutritional value, calories, fiber, etc. Perhaps they'll skip the nose and go for the eyes. I know those are meaty for animals. It was on CSI Fargo Chicago Vegas.

You're welcome.


Anonymous said…
that is super gross, and i suspect if your house was actually FINISHED meaning had actual fished doorways maybe there wouldn't be places where animals could get into the walls in the first place. i think normal people would probably hire someone to have the animal disposed of. like the dude with the cowboy hat on that show.


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