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A Little Prayer

Dearest Lord, Baby Jesus, Jehovah, Allah, Buddah, Whomever:

  Please don't judge too harshly if someone were to impale another person for being stupid today. People truly have forgotten that please, thank you and excuse me are not horrible things to say. They should, in fact, be used in extreme abundance during this crazy time of year. Please do not frown upon the lowly customer service rep, who truly loves her job so so much and is thankful for said job. She may say she wants to punch someone in the throat but she doesn't really mean it. She may also say she wants to stab someone in the eye with a hot poker but she doesn't really mean it. She may say she would love nothing more than to throw a frozen turkey at someone's head but she doesn't really mean it.

Ok fine, just a titch but serrsly? Why haven't you smited them already?? They are killing me slowly and oh so painfully! ahem..........moving along........

  Please grant me the strength to not hurt someone and if that's not doable, please help me retain my job and a small portion of my sanity.

I have to leave something for the children to destroy.

With love and peace unto you,


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