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I miss this kid. 
Don't get me wrong. I love my son. 
I love him so fiercely that it startles me sometimes.
But I miss this kid. 
Before a label was put on him.
Before we had the evaluation.
Before our lives were changed by that label.
Sometimes I want to go back.
Sometimes I want to quit.
Sometimes I think this is too much.

Most days I suck it up.
That's what moms are supposed to do right?
I can do that. I can suck it up. 
I can be the mom that my kids need.
That they deserve.
That they want.

I just need fewer sucky days. 
Change is coming my friends.
I see the end of the tunnel.
We're on our way to happiness. 
We're going to be just fine. 

So Aspergers? Don't think you've got me beat.
Don't think you can take that sweet boy from me.
Don't think his calling me a "f*!king bitch" 
regularly is going to break me.
Don't think I won't kick your ass Aspergers. 
You don't know who you're dealing with.


Jamie E said…
I feel your pain. 6 years and it never seems to be easier most days...*sigh*

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