Skip to main content

Not Part Of Our Life Plan

2 weeks ago my son threatened to jump out of his two story high bedroom window. He had his hand pressing on the screen, ready to push. He was at the window, ready to do it. Spewing hate and anger at his father and I. Calling us horrible things. He just wants a normal life, he screams.

A few months ago he held a butcher knife to his neck saying he wanted to cut his head off. He wanted to die.  Right then and there and he was willing to do it. He hates his life. He just wants a normal life, he screams.

He is on the Autism spectrum. 
He has Aspergers Syndrome.
ODD
ADHD
OCD

He's 9y 9mo old. He is my baby boy. My only boy. 

Tomorrow, if a bed becomes available, he will be admitted to the hospital for a two week stay. He does not know this. We aren't telling him. He would fight it so hard and I don't want to put him through that. If he is to be admitted tomorrow, we will take him there, stay with him as long as we can and do our best to assure him he is loved, more than anything in this world. 

He's going to be pissed at us. We have to take that. And we will. If it means our son gets the help he needs, I will move mountains. 

I don't know what path our family will be taking in the future. It terrifies me. The unknowing. The hurt. Anger. Resentment. Nightmares. 

The first book I read after Donovan was diagnosed said that most marriages involving a child on the spectrum ended in divorce (or at the very least, separation). Kirk and I refuse to let that happen to us. I thank the good Lord every day for this man. That I pledged my life and my love to him, for always. I'm so blessed and lucky to be with him. 

I hope that in sharing this, I can help others who are experiencing similar things. At the very least, I want to help educate people to what life is like for a family living with a child on the spectrum. I hope you share your thoughts, ideas and inspirations with me. 

Please do not pity us or feel sorry for us. Please don't judge us. 

What I ask of you is to try and understand. Learn. Read. Watch. 
 
We are an amazing family. Our son is the most fascinating, intelligent, creative, caring and sweet soul that we know. Our family is strong, we may not show it always, but we are fighters. Right now, we're fighting for our son, brother, nephew and grandson. 

Comments

Lindsey PS said…
Sending you love and hugs. You need to take care of you and yours. Let me know if you need anything.

Popular posts from this blog

This Has To Be Said

I haven't blogged in 8 months. We bought a house, still unpacking, school started. You know, life. I felt the need, the urgent need to blog about the Adrian Peterson situation today. I am full of all sorts of feelings and had to write about it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this whole thing. No really, I would. I don't feel I was a douchebag in my writing so all I ask is you not be a douchebag in your response. Thanks.

My thoughts on the Adrian Peterson situation (but first, some backstory):
I was spanked as a child. I'm pretty sure most of us that grew up in the 80s were.Until the summer between 5th and 6th grade I lived in Charelston, SC and from 6th to 11th grade, North Chicaco, IL. I have seen every form of discipline doled out on a child. I've seen spankings, beatings, hairbrushes smacked into heads, spoons hitting the tops of heads, whips, belts and even switches. I've seen it all.Most of you know that my son is named after a little boy who died from c…

DOODLEBOPS UNMASKED - ALL THREE

Please do not ask me to email photos out, I get entirely too many requests for them. These are the ones that I have at home, thanks to a couple of sources.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes? 

My house has always been different from other houses. I don't think I could narrow it down to a particular time. I recall not having friends stay over. Ever. I always stayed at all my friends' houses and called their moms "Mom".

Not a lot of my friends were only children so to them, I was the odd duck. Believe me, I *was* the odd duck. Just for a myriad of other reasons.

Having a family of my own, I really see the differences in houses. We are more relaxed with some things that would not fly in other houses. It gets loud in our house. Extremely loud. If I stopped them from being loud all the time, I wouldn't get a single thing done. I tend to jump in right away when the kids are arguing because it can, and will, quickly snowball into WWIII and someone (or both) will be crying. We let our son play the Wii, computer or DS for far longer than other parents or even the "…