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T-Minus 12 hours

You would think I would be in a bed, sound asleep right now with all that is going on tomorrow but no. Here I am. I can't sleep. I've cried so much and really feel like a wuss for doing so. I know I'm not going to die but still. Catheters. Wires traveling said catheters to my heart. Using energy to zap "extra cells". Yeah, it's not sitting so well with me. I'm still scared shitless. I can't eat or drink anything after midnight. Yikes. I should be OK with that though. I've never been a breakfast kind of person. One of my main concerns, apart from that whole dying thing? Is the food going to be good? When I had my kids, the hospitals had awesome food. I mean amazing grilled cheese sammiches. I like to think they saved all the good stuff for the new moms cause they knew we would need it. At the hospital where I had Peanut, I am not lying when I say the day went like this: Had her at 1:20 pm, ordered a cheeseburger, 2 grilled cheese and cottage cheese plus 2 milks, just for me, every 2-3 hours until they closed at 9pm. Repeat the next day starting at 10:30 am. I chowed on bagels all morning long. The kitchen staff knew when they saw it was my room calling. They couldn't believe it was for me until the same guy delivered my food all afternoon and told them that it was just me. Everyone else had McDonald's or BK. I hope and pray that the food is good. And that I don't die.

I also hope and pray that my children do not drive my sister in law to nosedive into Lake Minnetonka. She's staying tonight, tomorrow and Saturday night. She has all three kids tomorrow while the Captain is at the hospital with me (our niece is here - she's the 3rd kid, I didn't have a baby and not tell anyone). I should be coming home Saturday afternoon. I can't lift heavy things (more than 10lbs) for a couple days. No, that won't fly with the Peanut and Monkey Boy. I'm not sure if I'll have the Captain spend the night with me. I could very well just be sleeping the whole time. The fold out chairs are murder on a normal back but on his, it would be brutal. I think I may have him come home and rescue Fluffy. We'll see how things go. He's bringing his work laptop to the hospital to do, well, work whilst they zap at me. He laughed when I told him to bring it and I said, "So you can do some work while you're there." He laughed even more. Then I realized why and said, "Well, ya know, if you're not using it for a few minutes I wouldn't mind going online." He said he would bring it so I have my connection to the outside world and so that I wouldn't go through withdrawals. I knew he was a good man and I married him for some reason. I know now it was for the internet access.

Comments

Dakota said…
you will be just fine and even better after words
Les Becker said…
Yes, think good thoughts. We will too.

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