Dear Crotchety Broad, While I love my job and think it's the easiest one in the world to have, I do not think dealing with your ass was easy. Here are some highlights from my fabulous time with you: When your cashier is ringing up your precious produce, putting the codes in (from memory thank you very much), don't start trash talking her. I didn't hear you ask if I needed help because, well, um, I was busy ringing your shit up. When I look up because I heard something , don't look at me and say, " HELLO??" all sarcastic and shit. I will squish your tomatos, avocados and bread. When I ask if you have coupons, that's generally a sign that I am not a mind reader, can't see in your purse and can't predict the future (contrary to what you may think dear customer). As a refresher, here's our coversation: Loverly Cashier: Did you have any coupons today ma'am? (and that ma'am part may or may not have been choked out of my throat) Crotchety Broa...
We laughed. A lot. 
We got all prettied up just for the fun of it. 
We tried pears for the first time. Auntie Fluffy was lucky she walked away with all her fingers.
We went to a preseason game against my 'Boys. I don't know who won because I had entirely too much fun with my coworkers who came with me. Damn did my belly hurt the next day from all the laughing.
And somehow, someway, I gained a 1st grader. What. the. hell? I don't know how it happened either. But he's a cute one yes?
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